...who sees the light. From Tom Cruise is Nuts:
We've had Persian-speaking readers inform us that, in the first place, contrary to the Cruiser's claim, their lanuguage is actually called "Farsi", and second, contrary to the Cruiser's claim, Suri does not mean "rose". It means "To blow a trumpet" or "talk foolishly or at random." Japanese-speaking readers have pointed out that "Suri" means "pickpocket" in Japanese. French-speaking readers have noticed that "Suri" sounds like "Souris", which means mouse in French. So all that is just super.
But the best explanation (or "crazy conspiracy theory" if you prefer) came from a reader who goes by the nom de guerre Darth Chef:
"Suri = S.U.R.I.Scientology's Ultimate Resurrection Incarnate.Some say the "I" is for "Idea" but now that it is for real, the "I" stands for Incarnate.Tom's baby is actually the spawn of L. Ron himself, not Thomas J. Mapother IV. The plot I am about to share with you has been in the works since L. Ron was alive (the first time around).Soon after Tom Cruise met Katie Holmes, he approached the highest figures in Scientology. He let them know that he found a perfect specimen to carry SEED. For those of you who don't know what SEED is, it is the sperm specimen retrieved from L. Ron Hubbard upon his deathbed. For years it had been kept in a classified location. Only OT Level 3 Scientologists who were viewed as qualified were considered candidates for implanting SEED. When Tom approached COS, they quickly obliged. They entrusted Tom Cruise with the role of implanting SEED into Katie Holmes. The fertilization was obviously successful...This could be the true reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Let the ultimate battle between good and evil begin. "
Hat tip: Knucklehead, blogging at NIT.
Update:
"If vitamins and exercise alone explain why Tom Cruise is so, um, knowledgeable and well-grounded, pass the Prozac."- Chicago Tribune
We've had Persian-speaking readers inform us that, in the first place, contrary to the Cruiser's claim, their lanuguage is actually called "Farsi", and second, contrary to the Cruiser's claim, Suri does not mean "rose". It means "To blow a trumpet" or "talk foolishly or at random." Japanese-speaking readers have pointed out that "Suri" means "pickpocket" in Japanese. French-speaking readers have noticed that "Suri" sounds like "Souris", which means mouse in French. So all that is just super.
But the best explanation (or "crazy conspiracy theory" if you prefer) came from a reader who goes by the nom de guerre Darth Chef:
"Suri = S.U.R.I.Scientology's Ultimate Resurrection Incarnate.Some say the "I" is for "Idea" but now that it is for real, the "I" stands for Incarnate.Tom's baby is actually the spawn of L. Ron himself, not Thomas J. Mapother IV. The plot I am about to share with you has been in the works since L. Ron was alive (the first time around).Soon after Tom Cruise met Katie Holmes, he approached the highest figures in Scientology. He let them know that he found a perfect specimen to carry SEED. For those of you who don't know what SEED is, it is the sperm specimen retrieved from L. Ron Hubbard upon his deathbed. For years it had been kept in a classified location. Only OT Level 3 Scientologists who were viewed as qualified were considered candidates for implanting SEED. When Tom approached COS, they quickly obliged. They entrusted Tom Cruise with the role of implanting SEED into Katie Holmes. The fertilization was obviously successful...This could be the true reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Let the ultimate battle between good and evil begin. "
Hat tip: Knucklehead, blogging at NIT.
Update:
"If vitamins and exercise alone explain why Tom Cruise is so, um, knowledgeable and well-grounded, pass the Prozac."- Chicago Tribune
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