What is it about sin that we humans cling to so much? Why do we miss the chafing and bondage, and return to it so willingly?
I'm having a hard week; one of the worst I've had in a while. This is too public a forum to go into detail, but I would ask for your prayers for me and for everyone else involved. Trying to pry myself out of dangerous and addictive behavior is immeasurably hard. No wonder Paul was so emphatic that none of us can do it alone. Already I miss those old habits and ways of being. A part of me knows that what I'm doing is the right and healthy thing. But a part of me wants to hang on, to try one more time to make things work with those habits still in my life. I'm leaning hard on my friends and family to keep reminding me that I'm doing the right thing, that this is what needs to happen next for me. But I miss the way those old shackles rubbed against my wrist bones so much.
God leads us down odd paths. This is one that I for sure don't understand, and am struggling with. I'm not sure I'll ever have an answer for why this has happened in my life, and the lives of those around me. For a lawyer, that's misery. I recently was at a service where we sang the old hymn, "Farther along, we'll know all about it; farther along, we'll understand why." I appreciate the idea, but I'm not sure I believe it. I'm not sure there will ever be a satisfactory answer to the questions I'm asking right now. All I can do is follow along (which is what I thought the words were for a long time as a child).
Thanks for reading, and again, please be praying. I'm in a very messy situation, and I know it's only beginning. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but I do believe it will get better. I hope you are all blessed by someone in your lives today. Have a good weekend!
I'm having a hard week; one of the worst I've had in a while. This is too public a forum to go into detail, but I would ask for your prayers for me and for everyone else involved. Trying to pry myself out of dangerous and addictive behavior is immeasurably hard. No wonder Paul was so emphatic that none of us can do it alone. Already I miss those old habits and ways of being. A part of me knows that what I'm doing is the right and healthy thing. But a part of me wants to hang on, to try one more time to make things work with those habits still in my life. I'm leaning hard on my friends and family to keep reminding me that I'm doing the right thing, that this is what needs to happen next for me. But I miss the way those old shackles rubbed against my wrist bones so much.
God leads us down odd paths. This is one that I for sure don't understand, and am struggling with. I'm not sure I'll ever have an answer for why this has happened in my life, and the lives of those around me. For a lawyer, that's misery. I recently was at a service where we sang the old hymn, "Farther along, we'll know all about it; farther along, we'll understand why." I appreciate the idea, but I'm not sure I believe it. I'm not sure there will ever be a satisfactory answer to the questions I'm asking right now. All I can do is follow along (which is what I thought the words were for a long time as a child).
Thanks for reading, and again, please be praying. I'm in a very messy situation, and I know it's only beginning. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but I do believe it will get better. I hope you are all blessed by someone in your lives today. Have a good weekend!
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