The World According to Tiff Sniff

Meandering ponderings and wonderings on the state of things.

Open Letter to the Ferris Wheel Operator at the Williamson County Fair

Dear James,

I have enjoyed our playful banter this week. You are moderately attractive, especially in light of your co-workers, who are almost without exception extremely overweight and old. Your generosity is evident by the free rides of the Ferris Wheel you have given me, my family, and my friends. You seem, too, to have some intelligence, which is why I think you can appreciate what I have to tell you.

I understand that your life this time of year is quite nomadic. I bet you meet a lot of cute local girls at every locale. You are quite good at quickly establishing rapport with people, probably because of the nature of your work.

So tonight, when you asked me for my phone number, part of me was quite flattered, as is true any time I'm asked for my number. However, besides the fact that I have a flat-out ban against dating carnies (which, honestly, I didn't realize until tonight), I didn't get the impression that you were interested in me as a person. Perhaps it was just knowing that as of Sunday, you are on to the next small Southern fair. But I think it was mostly because of the airbrushed "Leighann 'n' James" trucker hat you wear constantly. And more than that, the fact that your girlfriend, with matching "James 'n' Leighann" trucker hat, works the water-gun game next to our Icee trailer.

So understand that it wasn't you, per se, that I wasn't attracted to, but your obvious desire to score with a local girl before leaving. Next time, I suggest you hit on one of the ubiquitous teenagers; your friend on the roller blades seemed to meet quite a few of them this week.

Good luck in your chosen career; I hope the fair circuit is good to you and yours. Until next year,

10 Responses to “Open Letter to the Ferris Wheel Operator at the Williamson County Fair”

  1. # Blogger Phil

    So is "Don't date carnies" just behind "Never get involved in a land war in Asia"?  

  2. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Well, you can't blame a guy for trying. How do you feel about engineers? I'll let you drive over my bridge for free as often as you want..


  3. # Blogger Jamie

    That same exact guy took my tickets. I especially noticed him because Brittany had just posted about the airbrushed Tig-Ol-Bitties hat she saw at Six Flags and I was on heightened airbrush alert.

    All the guys at the Ferris Wheel were pretty...smoky. The firemen at the Teaching Firehouse were hot, though.  

  4. # Blogger Michael Hickerson

    Hey...carnies need love too, dammit!  

  5. # Blogger vmgy5ssnn36iqtc

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.  

  6. # Blogger Katie

    Hey Tiff,

    Some freak posted spam on your blog. Just FYI.

    Loved the letter...very creative, and funny.


  7. # Blogger amanda

    Hey Tiffany, here's a little song:

    I love my carnie man
    He runs a Icee stand
    He sells most anything
    from stand to stand.
    Some day I'll join his life
    I'll be his carnie wife
    Damn straight! I love my carnie man!!  

  8. # Anonymous Anonymous

    How could you turn down this offer of a romantic dirt bike ride? I'm still hurting for him....
    Kudos for being the first of my friends to be hit on by a carney!

  9. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Have you seen this?!
    and this?!
    Would've emailed but I thought this might be visable. Good ol DLHS is still rockin hard -Melody  

  10. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Although you know that I truly respect your opinion, I must disagree with your assessment of James the Carnie. (Observation: he smelled more of dirt, roasted corn, and sweat than cabbage.)
    Yes most carnies were overweight, missing teeth, or hunch-backed, but if I had to choose (at gunpoint most likely) which carnie to take home to Mom and Dad, it would have to be the Human Cannonball. Word to your mother.  

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