The World According to Tiff Sniff

Meandering ponderings and wonderings on the state of things.

Dreams & Determinations

The other night I had a great dream. I started out at church. After service, my friend Lara asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with her and some of our other friends. I agreed, and we all piled into her car. Instead of the cinema, however, she drove us to the airport.
"Why are we at the airport? I thought we were going to a movie."
"We are. The movie is only playing in Yemen, though."
So we flew to Yemen. I was a little disappointed that I hadn't known ahead of time, as I would have brought my camera, but I had my cell and was able to snap a few shots on the crap cam. I don't remember whether or not we saw the movie, but I was excited to visit a new place. We saw some crazy, scary, cool statues and ruins, and a gorgeous beach with golden sand and water so clear we could see the fishes swimming several yards out.

I'm not sure where the Yemen thing came from. The only connection I have to it (which I mentioned to one of my friends in the dream) is that in the movie "Night at the Roxbury" (which, yes, I own on DVD) the Boutabi family is from Yemen. Random, I know.

I've been dreaming about beaches a lot lately. I think it's driven by my desire to get back out to LA and see my friends out there. Two of my best friends in Cali just had babies, and I need to go spoil them a good bit. But I also think that it's a deeper yearning. The last couple of weeks have been hard for me, spiritually and emotionally. I can't really point to any single cause, other than just the general buildup of stress over my unemployed situation. I've just been in a general funk for a few days now. And so I'm seeking to surround myself with friends who encourage and support me. It's hard, because I'm frequently scheduled to work both Friday and Saturday night on any given weekend, and that significantly cuts down on the time I have available to spend with people who work 9-5. I'm spending way too much time alone. Much more than is good for my spirit. And so I think that is driving the desire for a vacation out west, where I could spend several uninterrupted days basking in friendship and love.

Wow, didn't mean to be so down today, but I am trying to be honest about my situation and what I'm going through. Both because I know other people have been through it, and might read this and be able to offer me encouragement, and because other people will go through it and might be encouraged to know they are not alone in either situation or temperament.

As for my situation, not a lot has changed. On the surface, anyway. There's just not much out there, and nothing that fits both my qualifications and career goals. Unless something new opens up soon, I'm looking at either having to try to work on my own again (which I dread doing because it was so hard on me the last time) or make a drastic career change, which I don't want to do for obvious reasons. I'm still trying to be in prayer about it, but it's definitely hard to keep praying when there seems to be no real answer. I'm going through the motions most days. But at least (for now) I'm going. And that's something, right?

2 Responses to “Dreams & Determinations”

  1. # Blogger Eco

    You're in my thoughts and prayers. I know life can get overwhelming and us planners like to know what's coming our way. I know that God has something good in store and I'll pray that He lets you in on the plans real soon. :-)  

  2. # Blogger Tamalani Barnett

    Not to dismiss all that you are going thru but we have talked so you know I'm prayin for you already! I love you! BUT some insight into Yemen...By any chance did you recently watch the "Friends" episode where Chandler fakes a transfer to Yemen for work in order to avoid dating Janice? Just wondering b/c maybe your subconscious is looking into running away from tough times (or moving to Cali?....) Love you!  

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