The World According to Tiff Sniff

Rewrite

2008-11-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

A rewrite of part of the U.S. Supreme Court opinion from Loving v. Virginia, changing only any word currently referring to race to a word referring to sexual orientation:

Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the sexual classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious sexual discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of the same sex resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.

There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose independent of invidious sexual discrimination which justifies this classification. The fact that Virginia (California/Florida) prohibits only homosexual marriages involving gay persons demonstrates that the sexual classifications must stand on their own justification, as measures designed to maintain Heterosexual Supremacy.

And no, I don't think "protecting the sanctity of marriage" qualifies as a legitimate overriding purpose. There are far more important actions we can, and should, be doing to protect marriage, beginning with starting with our own marriages within in the church.

And I do see a great irony in the actions of the people of the state of California in this: for example, Ellen DeGeneres married her girlfriend Portia DiRossi in a lavish ceremony. At the time, it was legal and sanctioned by the state. Now that legality has been taken away, and guess what's left - the memory and the fact of the lavish ceremony. In other words, the "sanctifying" part of the marriage. So yes, homosexuals (for the time) can't legally marry in California, but they can still choose to commit to each other in a purely spiritual and emotional way. And isn't that what really gets the pro-hetero-marriage crowd all in a tizzy?

Why I voted for Obama

2008-11-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer: this post is ENTIRELY my opinion. I understand, and respect, that there are others who voted, from their conscience as I did, in an entirely different way. I understand that the underlying assumptions I have that led me to these conclusions may be different from yours.

But I've been asked a few times over the last few days, and thought I'd post the reasons why.

This isn't why I think you should have voted one way or another; it's why I voted the way I did.)

Because under President Bush and his advisors, Americans are less safe, less secure, less insured, less literate, and less free than before he took office. (The Patriot Act, anyone?)

Because under President Bush, America has become the most hated nation in the world.

Because under the Republican model of deregulation of the economy, unscrupulous people took advantage of the trust of the American people and undermined our biggest strength.

Because I do believe that equal family rights, including marriage and adoption, should be available to all qualifying adults, regardless of sexual morality.

Because we (as conservatives) have insisted for years that it was bad for government to be big, increase taxes, and create social welfare programs; that if allowed to keep our money, we would address social issues privately. But we've been given the chance and haven't done it.

Because our generation has the opportunity to help our government work to eradicate malaria and prevent AIDS around the world.

Because having a black president with a Kenyan father and an Arabic name will give us credibility among those with whom we need to work to eliminate terror around the world.

Because under President Bush we have increased the tax debt and trade deficit we will pass onto our children more than under any other single administration, and this done by an administration who won the White House on a platform in part promising smaller government, lower taxes, and less burden on future generations.

Because I'm ready for a change, and I don't think John McCain, as great as he is, was ready to break quite far away enough from the rest of the party to make any real strides away from what they've done for the last 8 years.

And lastly, because I'm tired of my faith being hijacked by the religious right and other conservatives who use the name of God and Christ to spread hatred, discrimination, and fear.

Church

2008-11-04T22:25:00.001-08:00

So I'm debating whether or not to even post this. Part of me thinks that I need to be polite, and respectful, and to let this pass without public comment.

Then another part of me says that I need to stand up publicly for what I believe. So I'm composing it without a decision, as yet, as to whether or not I will publish it.

Sunday I walked out of church for the first time in my life. And I have sat through some painful, horrible services. But this week, I had the rug pulled out from under me - an emotional sucker-punch, as I put it in my facebook status.

Most of you probably know how I feel about the issue of gay rights, in particular the right to same-sex marriage. On Sunday, our visiting preacher told us that only in a godless society could we think it's okay to vote in favor of gay marriage, abortion, or condom distribution.

So since I guess I'm godless, I got up and left.

Fortunately, there were a handful of other dissidents who had done the same, and we finished service in the parking lot, encouraging each other and commiserating.

I had a friend ask me tonight how I rationalize being a Christian with supporting gay marriage and adoption. (This in response to a facebook status lamenting the absolute trampling of those rights that happened in the polls today.) Here is what I told him:

No, I understand. I believe, from what I read of Jesus' life, that he calls his followers to an absolute high standard of morality. Believers are called to hold each other accountable.

However, beyond our walls, he tells us to feed the poor, care for the sick, visit prisoners, etc. In other words, in my understanding, to make sure that everyone has the same quality of life that I do. Not to spend our time telling people how to live their lives. That's what he condemned the Pharisees for.

The legal right to marriage is very different from the sacrament. What the legal right entails are things like the right to decide medical care when your spouse is incapacitated, the right to have a shared health insurance, the right to inheritance, etc. Marriage is one of the most basic civil rights in America. People can marry who cannot legally enter a contract or stand trial. If two men or women want to make a legal commitment to one another, I feel like they should have the right to do so.

If we're worried about the "state of marriage" in America, we need to spend some time and energy dealing with the rampant divorce, adultery, abuse, neglect, etc., going on in hetero marriages in the church. Classic speck in your own eye, if you ask me.

In the meantime, the best way to show God's love is to give this community the same rights we would want and expect once they've decided to build a life together. A decision that we can't control one way or another, in the end.

I know not everyone agrees with me, and why, and I respect it. In contrast to those who would claim that true Christians must all be led to the same conclusions by the Spirit and march in lockstep, I've come to believe that the Spirit leads us to different convictions and conclusions so that many more things can be accomplished in the name of the Lord. After all, if we were all focused on the problem of abortion, then poverty or disease might not get any attention. If we all spend our energy building a children's ministry, and ignore the seniors at a church, the kingdom suffers. We need people willing to be passionate and committed and work in all areas. I think this is just part of that.

Anyway, this is a short summary, but I hope it helps. Regardless of the outcome we've seen tonight, I feel more optimistic about our ability, as a nation, to put differences aside and come together to confront the problems we're wading through now.

And so I'm watching to see what the fallout will be at our congregation. I hope that this is a fluke - an example of a guest speaker not knowing his audience. I'm not offended that his politics are different than mine, but that he chose to express his opinion in a way that denigrated and condemned my own, and in the process alienated a good number of people who were on the bubble, at Otter Creek to see what this Jesus character is all about. Now they see that Jesus' followers are as hateful and judgmental as they'd heard. They won't be back, I guarantee it. This man has successfully driven them away from God, probably not what he thought he was doing with his lesson.

It hurt, on a personal level, because my beliefs have been informed by my faith and study in Christ, and not in the least by influence from any "godless" source, whatever that is.

In the end, I think that human dignity is one of God's primary concerns - at least as far as we are called and expected to act. Telling someone that they don't have the right to take care of their loved ones in the same way that heterosexuals do is denying the homosexual community a recognition of their dignity and worth as creations beloved of my God.

If anything, though, I've seen tonight that America is capable of change, of broadening our horizons and becoming a better society. We saw tonight the results of previous generations challenging perceptions and beliefs. I'll be able to tell my kids that I voted for the nation's first African American president. A hundred years ago, that was as feared and hated as gay marriage is now, and so I'm hopeful that change can and will come, and hopefully much more quickly.

2008-11-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

So I realized today that 17-year-old Tiffany would have thought that 30-year-old Tiffany is pretty awesome and someone to want to be like.

And that is a really cool feeling.

Just because

2008-10-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

Almost everything you knew about me a year ago has changed. Just so you're in the loop. Here's a short list:

1. Currently working as a temp attorney, taking work when and where I can get it, and in the meantime, doing some traveling and enjoying life.

2. This summer I spent two weeks in New Orleans working with impoverished youth. Amazing. I have even looked at jobs down there.

3. Then, one of my girls from England came for a visit. We drove from Nashville to Orlando, to New York, to Niagara and back. Also amazing. Have also looked at jobs in the UK.

4. Moved into a house with a yard and a dog and awesome new roommates. Miss the old roommate, too, though, just for the record.

5. Just signed up for NaNoWriMo. I know some of y'all have done it in the past, so if you have advice, send it my way. Or, you know, ideas of what to write about.

6. Kinda think I want to be a teacher now. Have looked into what all that would take. Basically just need to find a school that needs a history/civics teacher and start from there.

7. Still driving the same car, going to the same church, and listening to Lightning 100.1. So not everything has changed.

More soon.....

Dreams & Determinations

2008-04-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

The other night I had a great dream. I started out at church. After service, my friend Lara asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with her and some of our other friends. I agreed, and we all piled into her car. Instead of the cinema, however, she drove us to the airport.
"Why are we at the airport? I thought we were going to a movie."
"We are. The movie is only playing in Yemen, though."
So we flew to Yemen. I was a little disappointed that I hadn't known ahead of time, as I would have brought my camera, but I had my cell and was able to snap a few shots on the crap cam. I don't remember whether or not we saw the movie, but I was excited to visit a new place. We saw some crazy, scary, cool statues and ruins, and a gorgeous beach with golden sand and water so clear we could see the fishes swimming several yards out.

I'm not sure where the Yemen thing came from. The only connection I have to it (which I mentioned to one of my friends in the dream) is that in the movie "Night at the Roxbury" (which, yes, I own on DVD) the Boutabi family is from Yemen. Random, I know.

I've been dreaming about beaches a lot lately. I think it's driven by my desire to get back out to LA and see my friends out there. Two of my best friends in Cali just had babies, and I need to go spoil them a good bit. But I also think that it's a deeper yearning. The last couple of weeks have been hard for me, spiritually and emotionally. I can't really point to any single cause, other than just the general buildup of stress over my unemployed situation. I've just been in a general funk for a few days now. And so I'm seeking to surround myself with friends who encourage and support me. It's hard, because I'm frequently scheduled to work both Friday and Saturday night on any given weekend, and that significantly cuts down on the time I have available to spend with people who work 9-5. I'm spending way too much time alone. Much more than is good for my spirit. And so I think that is driving the desire for a vacation out west, where I could spend several uninterrupted days basking in friendship and love.

Wow, didn't mean to be so down today, but I am trying to be honest about my situation and what I'm going through. Both because I know other people have been through it, and might read this and be able to offer me encouragement, and because other people will go through it and might be encouraged to know they are not alone in either situation or temperament.

As for my situation, not a lot has changed. On the surface, anyway. There's just not much out there, and nothing that fits both my qualifications and career goals. Unless something new opens up soon, I'm looking at either having to try to work on my own again (which I dread doing because it was so hard on me the last time) or make a drastic career change, which I don't want to do for obvious reasons. I'm still trying to be in prayer about it, but it's definitely hard to keep praying when there seems to be no real answer. I'm going through the motions most days. But at least (for now) I'm going. And that's something, right?

Surprises

2008-03-25T14:59:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind for me. Which was kind of a nice change of pace, although it interfered greatly with my ability to get the routine things done.

The first, and less interesting thing, is that I've picked up a lot of hours at work lately. I'm getting a lot of good feedback from my higher-ups, and have been called in to work on some special projects, which has been great for the old self-esteem. If this law thing doesn't work out....

But the other, really fun thing that happened, is that my brother's passport was stolen! Hmm, maybe I should explain. My brother, Ted, has traveled to China 4 times in the last few years. (In fact, he's there now as I'm typing this.) So a few weeks ago, he sent his passport to the Chinese embassy to get his visa in order to enter the country this month. Somewhere in the shipping process (yes, we know where; no, we don't know who did it), his passport, with the visa in it, was lost, presumed stolen.

This was discovered when, 2 days before his flight, he still hadn't received it.

So. Ted was able to change his flight by one week, in order to go to Washington, D.C., to renew everything in person. I was the only one whose work schedule would allow it, so I got to go up there with him.

It was great, first of all, for the two of us to spend some time together. Fortunately, we both have the same approach to road trips, which is: only talk when both/all parties want to talk. Otherwise, put your headphones on and read a book or sleep. This approach works quite well, especially as we had 2 decades of family trips during which to perfect it.

D.C. was overrun with schoolchildren, as happens in the spring. But it's a great city - pedestrian-friendly, lots to do, and endlessly photogenic. I went sightseeing while Ted stood in line in the passport office and at the Chinese embassy.

Here are the highlights:

1. Remember, a few weeks ago, when I said I wanted to get to a Real Art Museum? Well, the National Gallery has always been one of my favorites. And it's free. So I spent a few hours there last Tuesday. I spent all of my time in the 18th and 19th-century French and British wing. That's where they have the paintings by my (current) favorite artist, Pissarro. Ever since I was first introduced to his work, I have been pretty fixated on it. I just respond to it at a molecular level, and can pick his work out of a pile of others. Something about the light, and the detail work he does. I just get it,

Anyway, as I was wandering the wing, I kept coming across a tour group of retirees with a docent who really seemed to know what he was talking about. (If not, he was really good at faking it.) So I kept an eye on them, to see if they would go into the room with the Pissarro paintings. I don't know a whole lot about the artist, and was curious about what the guide would say. Sure enough, after a lengthy bit about Manet's impressionism debut, he led them to the tiny little room that I love. He didn't say much, but he did say that (1) Pissarro was a mentor to Cezanne, and a father-figure to Van Gogh, who are two of my other favorites. And (2) that he was the oldest member of the Impressionists, and so served as a teacher to the group, and as the mediator and peace-keeper. Perhaps I give myself too much credit, but I kind of think that maybe that's why I get his work. Sounds like he and I are a lot alike.

2. Ted and I were trying to decide where to eat dinner around Knoxville on the way up there. As we drove around the little exit, I said, "You know, I could really go for Arby's." Just then, an Arby's sign appeared on the horizon. I then tried saying "You know, I could really go for $1 million", but it didn't work.

3. My favorite part of the week: when Ted and I arrived late Monday afternoon, we decided to do a test run of everything he would need to do Tuesday, so he would have a sense of how long it would take. The Chinese embassy is north of Georgetown, and the subway doesn't run up there, so we took the bus. I was trying to remember where the LUSH (my favorite store) is in D.C., and I thought it might be in Georgetown, so I told Ted to keep his eyes open. We didn't see it on the way out, but on the way back, I watched again. (I'm very stubborn, especially about LUSH.) I was talking to Ted about something, when all of a sudden, I smelled it. No kidding. From inside the bus. Now, if you've ever been to a LUSH, you know it has a very distinctive scent - all those yummy bubble baths and bath bombs and soaps. But still. I shrieked and made Ted get off the bus with me at the next stop. It was everything I hoped for. I got some new shampoo that, so far, I'm very happy with.

Oh, and Ted got his new passport and visa, obvs, and left for Asia on Saturday, where he is having a fantastic time. And hopefully buying me something fun as a thank-you. I'm hoping for the entire Arrested Development series, or maybe some jewelry like he got last time. I kind of think I might get something from LUSH, though.

Personality Tests

2008-02-29T11:20:00.000-08:00

I will admit to being something of a narcissist, although no more than the average American adult. Still, I love anything that tells me more about myself. For example, in law school, I went through a huge emode.com/tickle.com phase. I didn't always agree with the results, though: my "spice" was vanilla, my "Friend" was Rachel, my inner pop start was Britney (before she went off the deep end), and my theme song was "Walking on Sunshine". I'd like to think I'm a little more interesting than all of these.

Anyway, Jen posted this on her facebook account, and I couldn't resist taking it. It's pretty accurate, if simplistic. Link is here, if you'd like to take it for yourself.

And if you're curious, I'm an INTJ.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.

You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.

Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.

But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.

You're generally good at balancing work and play.

When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.

But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.

You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.

Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.

You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.

You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.

Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.

Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.

In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.

You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.

A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Ahem

2008-02-28T13:53:00.000-08:00

I've had it pointed out to me, one or twenty times, that it's been quite a while since I updated this blog.

So here's a quick update on everything going on in the last few months:

1. My laptop died at the end of summer. Hence the slowdown in posts at that time. I have not yet replaced it, but when I do, hope to be able to write more regularly.

2. I went to England, again. Pictures at my Flickr page. It was a great week, except that I was very, very ill. I got sick the Wednesday before we left (we left that Friday). Thursday, the day before we left, I went to see the doctor, who told me I probably had mono. The in-office test came back negative, but he didn't believe it, so he did bloodwork that came back (negative) a week later. While I was in England. I'll save you all the gory details, just believe me when I say I've had more enjoyable trips.

3. While coming back from England (as in, literally on the plane over the Atlantic), I did a little praying about my job. I had realized that I was getting restless at work, that I was frustrated that I wasn't moving forward at all, and that I really, really didn't want to be an accountant. So I asked God to help me figure it out. That if I was meant to stay where I was, would He help me to focus and dig in. But if it was, in fact, time for me to move on, that He would make that clear. Two days after I got home, my boss called me in my office and told me that she thought I was getting restless and that she thought it was time for me to move on. I've been a little bit afraid to pray ever since.

4. After a few weeks of getting "Call me back after the holidays" from people, I went over to the mall and applied for, and received, a seasonal position at Williams-Sonoma. I'm still there, and actually really love it.

5. I qualified for unemployment compensation, so with that supplementing my WS paycheck (and some significant lifestyle changes), I'm in a position to be a little choosy with my next job. I won't have to take the absolute first thing that comes along, if it's not a good fit. Although, with the way things have fallen out, I kind of think that the first thing that comes along will probably be the right thing.

6. My roommate has decided to get her own place (not at all a surprise) when our lease is up in a few weeks. I haven't done a lot to really look for anything yet, not knowing what my work situation will be. But I think I've found a place, anyway. A friend who lives in a house also has a roommate moving out. Rent will be less than what I'm paying, which is key at this point. So it's good.

7. My best friend in Cali, Tami, had a baby boy. He's beautiful, and I'm saving my pennies to pay for a plane ticket to go see them.

8. I went to Searcy, AR, this weekend to see my dear friend Erin. I hadn't seen her in a year, and hadn't really spent time with her in several. I also hadn't been back to Harding in 5 years, so it was time. I had a great time with Erin and her family, and also got to drop in on my favorite professor/mentor, Lori Klein, and catch up for an hour. Plus, I'd been itching to get out of my routine a bit, so it was a much-appreciated weekend.

9. This year, I gave up drinking everything except water for Lent. This has been hard.

Along the way, I also:
Settled an old, unsettled, painful relationship situation.
Switched up my birth control (my body is still going crazy).
Hiked at Radnor Lake at least once a week, even in the nasty weather.
Have been cooking like a fiend, urged on equally by being able to watch Martha everyday and my wicked discount at WS.
Got hooked on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" by my friend Lara.
Went on a fun day trip w/ said friend Lara and Michael to Mammoth Cave, including a short stop at Dinosaur World. Highlight of the day was seeing the salt truck that had crashed on the icy roads.
Cleaned out my CD, DVD, and book collections and made a little moolah at McKay's.
Cleaned out my closet and donated a bunch of clothes that don't fit anymore.
Got my little sister hooked on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
Went to a bunch of concerts and movies.
Read like a fiend.
Wrote a little bit. (Not here, obv.)
Had a hankering to see an art show. Went to Hatch Show Prints instead.
Had a hankering for a spiritual retreat/pilgrimage. Went to my alma mater instead.

Alright. That's all for now. More soon, hopefully, including posts on the nature of pilgrimages and the lessons I've been learning about water and its prevalence in theological and literary sources.

PS - I now find my last post, below, a little eerie and unnerving.

Songs

2007-10-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

Song in my head: "I Love Trash" by Oscar the Grouch. Seriously.

Song in my heart:

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Creepy

2007-08-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

Saturday at Borders, I had a man tell me I have "pretty toes" that are "dangerous to a man with a foot fetish".

Ew.

Thankful Thursday

2007-08-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for:

1. My amazing family, whom I always find interesting and who are always up to fun things.
2. The fact that I have a job that affords me a place to live, food to eat, gas for my car, and the occasional CD.
3. The people that God has put in my life to remind me of important truths just when I need to hear them.
4. Ice cream.
5. LOST on DVD.
6. LoveMonkey on DVD, courtesy of Jen.
7. Good books and movies and music. They feed me emotionally.
8. Coworkers with whom I have real relationships.
9. A long-awaited pregnancy (not my own).
10. 6:00 p.m.

Things I'm raving on:
1. HBO's series "Rome" (on DVD). Holy Moley is this a great show. The roommate and I have been watching it courtesy of Netflix, and it's killing me that I have to wait another week for Season 2 to come out on DVD. (Warning: it's very graphic, in every sense of the word.)
2. "Hairspray". I want to live in this musical.
3. "The Mezzanine", the new CD by The Nobility (formerly Jetpack UK). It's really fun.
4. The Williamson County Fair, which starts tomorrow. This is my Uncle Dave's baby. It's in its third year, and we will once again be selling Icees. Hopefully this year I'll yet again have plenty of fun stories to share.
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. There's nothing more I can say here about that.

Bring on the Friday.

Laughing

2007-07-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

I just read this while I was eating lunch and it made me laugh out loud at my desk.

Mourn with those who mourn...

2007-07-15T18:01:00.001-07:00

Perhaps the most defining event in my life happened when I was just five years old. My sister, Tara, was born, weeks early and underdeveloped. Specifically, the blood vessels between her heart and lungs had not fully formed, leaving her unable to sufficiently oxegenate her body. She lived at Vandy's NICU for the next two months, finally coming home still attached to both a respirator and a heart monitor. My parents were given repeated dire predictions. She wouldn't live through the night. She wouldn't live to be 2 years old. She might live, but would never walk. She would be on medication the rest of her life.

For several weeks, my parents had to intubate her to feed her and then reinsert the respirator tube. She was finally taken off of that machine, but stayed on a heart monitor for several months. At the time, she and I shared a bedroom, and it fell to me to get up to replace the sensors when she pulled them off her skin. At the time, I knew it wasn't normal that the baby was so sick, but I didn't really have any idea of what was going on, of the level of crisis my family was living at.

Eventually, I'm happy to say, Tara defied the odds and proved them all wrong. Every single one of the above predictions failed to be true. She is a wonderful, healthy college graduate planning on a career in - what else - medicine.

Much of who I am can be traced to that time. Some traits I may have already had, but the events certainly enhanced them. My need to succeed and be responsible to please my parents. My deep maternal sense and talents. It definitely emphasized the oldest - middle - youngest child dynamic in our family.

This morning at church, it was announced that a family in our congregation lost their days-old baby girl, who was born with a heart defect and other complications. I cannot put into words for you the heartwrenching grief that has taken hold of me today.

This afternoon, I did what I always do when I'm hurting deeply, and went for a walk at Radnor Lake. As I walked, Romans 12 came to mind: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep". It never occurred to me before that this was a gift, and not just a command. For I have no doubt that I have, for whatever reason, been given some share of this family's grief to share. I've never felt anything like this, at least not for someone I don't know very well. But I'll gladly take it. For one thing, I know it is only a fraction of what they must be carrying. But also, it is a new experience for me - a new spiritual gift that I am given. And so I know that through it I will see another face of God.

Tonight's Celebration service was full of songs celebrating God's power, faithfulness, and goodness. It was hard for me to understand those songs tonight, although I know them to be true. And so I'm praying for this family's faith, for renewal for them, and comfort, and for their broken hearts to be healed. Although I know all of this will take time for them.

If you're the praying kind, pray with me for them. This is a new kind of sharing to me, but it has somehow made me feel a little more generous and grateful for what I have had in my life, my sister and amazing family most of all.

Dear Fox News....

2007-06-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

I know your stories are primarily written for TV, but seriously. This made me laugh (not the story - the excerpt below):

Cartwright said the 8 victims taken to local hospitals had injuries that quote — could be considered life threatening.

Read that sentence out loud. And realize it appeared as is on a website. That people read. Where you can actually use quotation marks to indicate a quote. You don't have to use the word.

My famous Dad

2007-05-31T11:01:00.001-07:00

Was interviewed for NPR's "All Things Considered" yesterday. Here's a link to the audio report.

Fun with Food Meme

2007-05-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

The Rules:

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Todd (Louisville, Kentucky, United States)
miss kendra (los angeles, california, u.s.a)
Jiggs Casey (Berkeley, CA, USA! USA! USA!)
Tits McGee (New England, USA)
Joe (NE Tennessee, USA)
10K Monkeys (Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA)
Big Stupid Tommy (Athens, Tennessee, USA)
Newscoma (Weakley County, Tennessee, USA)
Russ McBee (Knoxville, Tennessee, USA)
Atomictumor Mrs Eaves (Oak Ridge, Tennessee, USA)
Oh Really? LissaKay (Oak Ridge, TN, USA)
Inn of the Last Home (Knoxville, TN USA)
I Am DisHeartened by My Jetta (Nashville, TN, USA)
Big Orange Michael (Smyrna, TN USA)
TiffSniff (Nashville, TN, USA)

2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location. (Please note: These are in no particular order).

McCreary's Pub (Franklin, TN) - Okay, so technically this one isn't in Nashville, but it's close, and I lived in Franklin up until a year ago. Smoke-free, live music on the weekends. I think it's about time to head out there again.

Hog Heaven (the shack next to the Centennial Park McDonald's) - I'm planning on eating here for dinner tonight. Best BBQ in town. Be sure to try the white BBQ sauce.

Baja Burrito - Need I say more?

Pancake Pantry - Not just a tradition, they actually have fantastic, inexpensive food.

Rotier's - Best burgers in town. Hands down. Try a milkshake, too.

3. Tag 5 more people to join the fun: I pick Mel, Michelle, Adam, Phil, and Tami. (I would pick you, too, Jen, but you're on another continent. Next time!) Mostly because you're the only ones who still read this thing. But also because I love you guys. Have fun!

Quick thoughts

2007-05-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

1. The end of LOST: not a bit surprised that there will be 6 total seasons. I've theorized for a while that there would be 6. So far, the seasons have covered days on the island that track Hurley's "lucky" numbers. The first season covered about 40 days. 42, I think. The second season covered 3 weeks after the raft set sail. 23 days. So far this season, we've seen Jack/Kate/Sawyer spend a week w/ the Others, and have seen Ben promise to attack the beach after another week. I think it's a safe bet that that is where this season will end. So probably 16 days total for this season. Yep, 3 more seasons to count out the numbers. I think they've known (or at least wanted) to have 6 seasons all along.

2. Just a personal horn-toot: I've dropped 29 pounds from my all-time high. I also just bought several new pieces of clothes in a size I've not worn since high school. I'm not proud that I was ever that big, but I'm glad to be a much healthier weight. Hopefully there is more weight loss still to come, too. (Not a lot more, but some more.)

3. Seriously, I can't quit listening to the new Travis album (see my previous post if you're lost. Hee hee, lost!). It's fantastic. And I'm not one to listen to a song or album on repeat, normally. Wow, this is really good.

4. Hmmm, okay, maybe that's it.

Go here now.

2007-05-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

Spinner has both the new Wilco and new Travis albums streaming for free this week.

(ps - my birthday is soon, you know.)

Music poetry

2007-04-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

As promised (you know if you were one of the people I promised this to), some haiku and a sonnet about recent concerts I've attended:

Rites of Spring
Drunk frat boys, drunk girls,
Crowds, loud music and good friends:
Saturday was great.

Will Hoge
Smoky, crowded, loud,
Exit/In and Will on stage
Make a perfect night.

Steamboat
A few times recently I’ve been so blessed
As to see local guys in a great band
Called Steamboat. Now that I’ve become a fan
I’ll say that as for cover bands, they’re best.

They play the great old classics, country, blues,
Pretty much anything that flat out rocks.
These guys know how to play so that your socks
Are blown to some far place away from you.

Alas they plan to soon take a new name;
Their fans may never be just quite the same.

Previous compositions in iambic pentameter.

?!?!?!?

2007-04-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

Today's one of those days when it seems like everything is going to hell. It sucks.

Grandmama

2007-04-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

My grandmother passed away in her sleep last night. This was my dad's mom, the one who has had Parkinson's Disease for 15 years. The last time I saw her, for her birthday two weeks ago, she didn't know who I was. Well, she thought she did - she kept calling me Lura Mae, who is a distant cousin who died decades ago. She has thought I'm Lura Mae several times over the last couple of years.

This was the grandmother who taught me to sew, taught me to cook, taught me to garden. For most of my life, she never cut her hair, and wore it pinned up every day. Every Saturday she would wash it. It was so long that, to do so, she would have to kneel over the bathtub and let her hair fill it up. I remember thinking she must have been Rapunzel when she was young.

She and my grandfather (who died almost exactly 5 years ago) were still madly in love with one another until the day he died. And in fact, when the Parkinson's ravaged her mind and stole her memories, she would forget that he had died, and would have to live through that all over again. Her grief at those moments was almost unbearable. I've never loved anyone that much, I don't think.

There are so many things I wish I'd asked her - how she made her okra, her oatmeal, and her beef stew, how to actually finish a quilt and use her quilting frame, how to can and put up jams and vegetables. Her house, that is so familiar to me, is beautifully decorated. It wasn't until the last few years that I've appreciated the quality of furnishings and decor at the farm. She collected a lot of things, but all of them had some beautiful or whimsical value. There's an old crank-phone, two 1940's radios with record players (and my grandfather's hundreds of records dating back to the 1920's), antique furniture handed down from family long ago, and at least 4 or 5 complete sets of dishes - none of them newer than probably 1975. There's a soup tureen and matching soup mugs that look like bee hives. She collected miniature bottles and vases, and set the glass in the window where they would catch the light. She sewed quilts for every room and was meticulous in her cleaning. In fact, when she had to move up to Nashville and physically couldn't help with the housework, it devastated her. She didn't know who she was or what to do without being able to keep the house.

She loved God, and every night that my siblings and I would stay at the farm, the night would end with us reading a story from the picture Bible and reciting prayers together.

She taught me so much, and has had a great influence on me even today. Her mind has been going for a while now, and I've already been missing her. So today I'm going to rejoice that she is finally whole again, and reunited with the love of her life.

Update:
Yes, this is the grandmother who accused my sister of getting herself knocked up and my dad of having an affair. All products of the disease, I might add. I think my favorite, though, was this story from last year.

Fired up

2007-04-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

If someone came into my parents' place of business, and ate a donut they didn't like, and paid more for it than they thought it was worth, and thought the kid behind the counter was rude, and then this person went out to dinner with some friends and said, in a public place, "Man, that place was bad today. The service sucked and the product wasn't worth the price." If that happened, would you think my parents had the right to sue that person? What if this was said on a blog?

Mom and Dad wouldn't be happy, that's for sure, but would they have the right to take that person to court?

Apparently there are some attorneys in town who would say Yes.

My friend Kat had a recent unpleasant experience with a company called JL Kirk & Associates. She posted on her blog about her unpleasant experience, and a conversation ensued regarding the seemingly-sketchy way they handled her and her husband's situation. An employee of this (allegedly) professional and esteemed company came to Kat's blog and posted confidential information about Kat and said some nasty things. Kat moved that comment to her front page so that everyone could see the actions of this person for themselves.

Now Kat's been threatened with a lawsuit if she doesn't remove all of this.

It's a bunch of bullshit. From what I can tell, she has done anything that would warrant a winnable lawuit, and the lawyer who wrote this letter should know that - he works for the pre-eminent First Amendment experts around. They are simply attempting to bully her into taking back what she said.

More reasonable people would probably reach out to her and try to resolve the situation by putting her fears and concerns to rest. They might even let it go, knowing that it would blow over and there are plenty of other people who haven't read her story who will buy their services. But now, the story is spreading around Nashville blogs like wildfire.

And so I and many of the other local bloggers are taking her story even more public. We may all get letters telling us to stop. I don't know. I do know that in America, I can express my opinion about someone freely, and I think these people are just awful, based on the way they have handled this situation.

But to see what all the fuss is about, and to get the links so that you can repost them on your blog, you can start at Nashville is Talking, where Brittney has linked all of the major action so far. Be sure to read her original link, as well, where there are some great suggestions and analysis of the situation in the comments.

For what it's worth, Kat is one of my favorite people in the Nashville blogging community. When I was hurting and looking for work two years ago, she emailed me encouragement and helped me find some work, even though we'd never met face-to-face. I find her to be consistently kind, strong, intelligent, and fun, and highly recommend her blog for regular reading.

It pisses me off to see someone go after her in such a nasty way. No wonder people hate us lawyers.

Life

2007-04-07T12:20:00.000-07:00

Growing up in the good old Church of Christ, there was never a lot of emphasis placed on Easter. Sure, I got a new dress for church and a basket full of candy and toys, but that was about it. It was like any other Sunday, except we always could count on singing "Up From the Grave" at church for sure.

That didn't really change until I moved to California. Some of the people I met my first year in school encouraged me to practice Lent with them. I did, and Easter morning we all met on campus and had a sunrise service overlooking the Pacific. Ever since then, Holy Week has become more, well, not meaningful (it was always there after all), but more impactful on me personally. Easter quickly became my favorite holiday, because, after all, it all comes down to this weekend.

Until this year. This year, I've been really busy. Practicing for our service tomorrow night, trying to get tax stuff done at work before the April 15 deadline, even just going to more concerts than I have in a while. All of it has taken away the time I would have had to think about this week.

Then last night, I had to go to one final rehearsal. I didn't want to go; I had tickets to see Will Hoge afterwards, and would have rather gone to dinner with my friends. But I knew that I should rehearse, and so I did. I got there and chatted with friends, and we all got into our places on stage and started singing. And something changed.

We're singing a song whose lyrics touched me deeply. Suddenly I realized that yesterday was the anniversary. That thousands of years ago, on that very Friday, it happened. The seminal event in human history. The thing that changed everything forever. And I realized that we were entering the dark days - the time when the Christ was in fact dead. When he wasn't alive, teaching and healing, and when he wasn't yet resurrected, promising life and His spirit. When his followers and friends and family were in the dark, mourning and fearful and desperate.

And today - today when they were trying to figure out how to get through the day. When they were looking at what they had done for three years, working and building and creating a new world. Looking back on a time when they had known exactly who they were and where they stood in the world and why they were there. All of that gone, in the matter of a day and a half. With no warning, no explanation, no promise of resolution.

This is where we live. This Saturday world, where the fall has already happened and dark is upon us. Where our dreams can be crushed, relationships fall apart, people we love can be ripped from us in a heartbeat, with no warning and no explanation and no promise of resolution. We wake up every day and face this world, unsure if we're really supposed to be here, if we're doing things right, if we are loved the way we want to be.

But then there's Sunday. Sunday when Jesus' people began to move forward, trusting that if nothing else, this was the Son of God, and God will always work for the good of his people. And when they move toward that belief, act on that faith, approach the tomb to face what must be faced and do what must be done. At that time, oh, the unspeakable joy that awaits.

And we are so lucky, because we know that Sunday is tomorrow. And we know that the tomb will be empty, and that we'll find that our lives are even more meaningful and purposeful and full of love and promise and just sheer wonderfulness, than we ever hoped for or imagined. Everything we go through in this Saturday-life is not without meaning, is not unbearable. Because Sunday will break into our lives when we least expect it, and the life and spirit that can fill us on that day makes everything else fall away to the margins.

And so it is with that anticipation, that expectancy of God's miracle of new life for everyone, no matter how weary and broken down and torn, that I wait on this Saturday for the new day tomorrow.

Christ is risen; praise the Lord!

More good news...

2007-04-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

...on the music scene.

The Traveling Wilburys' albums are finally being re-released.

I've been singing "Handle With Care" for two days, and decided to google them to see if their songs might be on iTunes anytime soon. Holy Moly, both albums are being released again, in every available format.

I think the universe is excited and humming the song, and that's why it's been in my head.

(FYI, the release date is close enough to my birthday that I'd forgive you if you got this for me as a late present. Just for the record.)

Fragments on a Friday

2007-03-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

So did you see that episode of "Supernanny" where Jo demonstrated to the mom what it was like for her son with ADHD? Where she gave the mom headphones, turned the TV on, turned the kids loose in the room, and then asked her to read a magazine? Sometimes my work environment is like that. From where I sit, I can hear between 5-8 people's office areas. Sometimes they all talk at once. When clients come in, people tend to congregate in those areas. Fridays are insane. If I ever have a kid with ADHD, I'm all prepared.

**********************************

I love that this week, everything is suddenly green. The grass, the trees, the pollen, my snot.....

**********************************

Random Friday: the iPod shuffle game
1. "Now at Last", Feist (from Let It Die)
2. "Holy is the Lord", Zoe Group (from Closer)
3. "Sacramento & Polk", Alejandro Escovedo (from The Boxing Mirror)
4. "Hunting Season", David Mead (Tangerine)
5. "Lullaby", Dixie Chicks (Taking the Long Way Home)
6. "Come to the River", the Jayhawks (Rainy Day Music)
7. "Fine and Mellow", Eva Cassidy (Live at Blues Alley)
8. "They Can't Take That Away From Me", Billie Holliday (Love Songs)
9. "Liquid", Jars of Clay (Jars of Clay)
10. "Instant Karma", John Lennon (The Collection)

A pretty good selection, pretty indicative of me on any given day.

**********************************

Conundrum solved: we aren't starting the book until the Sunday after Easter, so I can go buy it after Lent is over.

Conundrum

2007-03-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

I need your advice on something. (Well, from those of you who still have blogger accounts, who are becoming very few and far between.)

This year, for Lent, I've given up shopping. If I can't get it at the grocery, I don't buy it. No online shopping, no browsing through clothes stores, and absolutely no setting foot in either Target or Walmart. (Although I do go to Walgreen's, but that's just to save time. I'm still not buying anything I couldn't get at Kroger with an extra 10 minutes.)

Then this past Sunday, our lifegroup decided to do a book study for the next few months. So is it shopping if I go buy the book? If I order it online? Or do I send a friend to Borders with a coupon and my Rewards card? Or is that just sliding by on a technicality? Or am I okay, since it's not me going into a store to wantonly spend money on things I don't need? Since it was, in essence, beyond me to make the decision to purchase this item?

Does it change things that I can, in fact, buy books at the grocery, even if I can't buy this one?

Ode to a Long Afternoon

2007-03-27T15:58:00.000-07:00

When first the day stretched long and clean and new,
And I attacked the piles upon my desk,
As I tried hard not to succumb to stress,
Then treasured I the time I had to use.

But as the day wore on and things got done,
The hours and the minutes seemed to slow.
So until time itself has seemed to grow
Inspired by a lazy, warm spring sun.

The birds outside are quiet, not a peep;
The bees and flies are not around as much.
Nature herself has seen that this is such
A perfect afternoon on which to sleep.

And yet I'm here, with numbers yet to add;
The slowness of the day just makes me mad.

Flight of the Bumblebee

2007-03-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is there an absolute glut of stinging insects this spring? I swear I've seen more bees and wasps so far this year than in all of 2006. This does not bode well for my outdoor activities this summer.

Hurts

2007-03-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

So my brother showed up at my door about two hours ago, dead drunk. I'm seriously not sure how he was able to walk, let alone find his way to my apartment. He had been drinking since the night before and had gotten into a fight with the girl who was driving him home, so he got out of her car in Green Hills and walked over here. Then he proceeded to pull an unopened fifth of whiskey out of his pocket and get through half of that in the half hour or so he was here. He finally left, in search of "fun people", and I called my parents and we all went out looking for him. My dad found him and took him home, and he's sleeping it off.

I don't really know why I feel the need to put this out here for all of you to read, except that I just don't know how to process it all, really.

First and foremost, he needs your prayers. As do the whole family.

Right now, I'm mostly just pissed. He knows he has a problem, he knows he has a sickness, and he does this anyway. I was so scared that he was going to walk into the street in front of a car, or worse, an MTA bus, or that he was going to go walk into some random person's house and get himself arrested. He wasn't even aware of what time it was, and kept apologizing for keeping me awake, and told me I could go on to bed if I wanted, he'd be fine. At 1:00 in the afternoon. And I know that tomorrow he won't even remember that he was ever here. At least he kept telling me how much I meant to him, and (ala Jo March) that he didn't love anyone as much as his sisters.

To top it all off, I had a bee crawl through the hole between my screen door and sliding door and get into my apartment. In case you didn't know, I'm allergic to bees, wasps, and hornets. As in could-die-if-stung, carry-a-shot-with-me-at-all-times allergic. I opened the sliding door all the way, and the little bugger buzzed his way back outside, but it freaked me out.

It's just been one of those afternoons.

And in all of this, I am reminded so strongly of the grace of God, that we are where we are now. For as bad and frightening as today was, he is doing a lot better now than he was several years ago, when he was also using assorted harder substances. He is so much happier and stronger now, and yet he still has this one area where sin/satan/depression/self-loathing can get a foothold and drive him to drink like he does. But I'm grateful that it's all there is.

I know that I am getting through this (this meaning the last 15 years or so) only through God's power and grace. I am not strong enough to do this alone, but I know I am strong enough to get through this with Him, because I have before. And it is through His beneficence that I have the friends and family (both real-world and blog-world) to talk to about these things.

Things are calm, for now. We're all going to have to take turns working at the store the rest of the day, as the shifts weren't covered already, and on top of this, someone has to stay with my brother to make sure he's safe until he sobers up some. I'm sitting here in the quiet, alone, praying, and while it's not happy or good, it's okay.

Antioxidants

2007-03-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

Good music is like dark chocolate for the soul.

Deceptively pleasurable, it nourishes and soothes, as well as makes your sensory perceptors dance.

Last night, I was privileged to experience Solas at Vanderbilt. It was fantastic. Today I've been listening to Arcade Fire, the Corrs, and Bob Dylan.

My insides are feeling nice and nutrified.

Praise the Lord and pass the Syncronicity

2007-03-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

The Police have scheduled a show in Louisville on a Saturday night. My prayers have been answered.

Excuse me while I go pay an exorbitant sum to join the fan club so that I can buy the tickets in the pre-sale.

And yes, I know they might still schedule a show for Nashville. I think I could handle seeing them twice, and in fact, I will bitch-slap you if you get in my way to buy tickets to that one.

Also:
(For Adam, and others, who might wonder why I get so giddy about The Police.)

It's about the history. In their own way, and admittedly on a smaller scale, The Police did for rock what the Beatles before them and Nirvana after them did. They took a new experimental sound that was happening in pockets of America and/or England, and they brought it mainstream. They had incredible critical and commerical success. Then after just a few tumultuous years they quit playing together (this is where there is a contrast to, say, The Rolling Stones or U2, whom you can still see at any time). Nirvana and the Beatles will never have the chance to reunify. The Police haven't played together in 20 years. It's a gift from the music gods, and I, for one, don't want to miss this chance.

A New Song

2007-03-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

(To the tune of "Bicycle Built for Two" - you know the one that goes "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do".)

Why I Will Never Be a CPA

Tax prep, tax prep,
I am so sick of you.
All this tax crap
Has made me a loony-loo.

I won’t finish you by Friday;
The day I’m done, I’ll par-tay.

And you’ll be gone,
Across the hall
To the tax guys, who love you true.

Fin.

Accomplished

2007-03-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

Goals I have for my life:

1. To write a novel.
2. To travel to all of the settled continents.
3. To have my name appear in the liner notes of a CD by a major recording artist.

One down, two to go!

(I haven't done any traveling or writing lately.)

And for the record

2007-03-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

I have but one brain,
Just two hands, and twenty-four
Hours in a day.

About Last Night

2007-03-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

For Vick:
Connor's mushy peas
Did not hold his attention
Like Kinsey's hair did.

For me:
When someone attacks,
And you're not even present,
Just let it roll off.

A Vacation Haiku

2007-03-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

In Los Angeles
I spent time with some good friends.
Pictures on flickr.

Yikes

2007-03-01T07:15:00.000-08:00

So have you seen this weather? From CNN:

CNN meteorologist Chad Myers said the storm system could "potentially be the worst tornado outbreak in years."

John Hart, lead forecaster for the weather service's Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma, told CNN high-risk forecasts are issued about three times a year.

High winds at 20,000 feet, a cold front running from Missouri to Texas and Gulf moisture moving northward into the Plains created "a rare severe weather setup," Hart said. "It's a very large system," he said.

I have to fly through this to get to Los Angeles this afternoon, kids. Say a prayer, if you would.

Crunchy

2007-02-26T15:58:00.000-08:00

I have a couple of important posts I really really want to get out here, but I just can't seem to find the time and the inspiration to write them all at the same time. And they're important, so I want to be sure I write what I mean.

So to keep you satisfied (and by that I mean "to keep you reading this thing until I put something worthwhile up here"), here are some of the things running through my mind instead of the important stuff.

1. I am addicted to Hapi Wasabi Peas. I need to find a place to buy them in bulk.
2. My brother's birthday is in a week, and I have no idea what to get him. Any ideas? He makes bagels and donuts for a living right now, while saving up money to go back to China and simultaneously preparing for grad school (to pursue a PhD in philosophy).
3. I had a dream that The Police announced a concert at the Exit/In. I screamed in my dream. I probably screamed in real life, too, but my roommate was housesitting so there was no one to ask.
4. Someone here (at work) stole my coffee mug. My coworker Erica gave everyone on our team matching coffee mugs for Christmas, as we're affectionately called "the coffee crew" by the rest of the company. I mistakenly put mine in the dishwasher once, and someone else took it out and I haven't seen it since.
5. I'm playing hooky from my accounting class tonight. I just couldn't do it this week.
6. Have I mentioned lately how much I like my job? Well, other than getting reamed out by a higher-up last week. But Friday night one of our clients played a concert here in town and I went as a part of my job. Although this client isn't someone I would listen to outside of work, it's still fun to get paid to go to concerts. And it was a good concert.
7. I got my hair cut last week, so I'm not such a John-Mayer-lookalike anymore. Thank God.
8. Funny story I told my friends this weekend: recently I had the first date I've had since moving back from Cali (yes, funny, but that's actually a different topic). Anyway, in telling one friend about it, I realized that that wasn't true. I had another date a couple of years ago that I didn't tell anyone about. It was with someone I knew through one of my jobs, and he had been wanting to take me out to eat. I wanted to maintain a happy relationship with him, so I agreed to one date. Fortunately, it was awkward and didn't go too well, and he didn't ask again. The reason I never felt it was worth mentioning? He took me to Shoney's.

Eight is my lucky number, so I'm signing off. Happy Monday!

Stop

2007-02-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

There were guys before you; there have been a handful since.

But you're the only one I still see in my dreams.

Fearful Friday

2007-02-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

2111 Stamp-
My Peter Pan PB may
Have salmonella.

Thankful Thursday

2007-02-15T16:17:00.000-08:00

Getting it in under the wire....

Today I am thankful for:
1. Songbirds, like the one that was singing, notwithstanding the snow flurries, outside my window this morning.
2. Pants that make my butt look great.
3. H&M (for selling said pants, along with other fabulous clothes)
4. My upcoming trip to Los Angeles to see my long-lost friends
5. New friends
6. News about old friends, like finding out Naseem is engaged!
7. Thursday night TV shows (The Office, 30 Rock, ER)
8. Romans 8, which seems to be everywhere I turn lately
9. Hillsboro Village (it just makes me happy to spend time there)
10. Fridays!

Have a great one, everyone. Oh! Before I go, one more haiku for today:

My drive to and from lunch today:
People out today
Do not seem to know where they
Are trying to go.

Thursday poetry

2007-02-15T10:43:00.000-08:00

John Mayer and I
Suddenly have the same hair.
It's time for a change.

Wednesday haiku

2007-02-14T11:10:00.000-08:00

Wagamama has
Chili Chicken Ramen soup.
Today I want some.

I am going to try
To compose a haiku post
Every day this week.

My week so far (in haiku)

2007-02-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

Sunday afternoon (See the fabricsnob for more details.)
Red-hat-wearing man
Watches us through the window.
Gets mad, bangs on glass.

Sunday night/Monday morning
Sting, Andy, Stuart –
Legends of rock; but I ache.
They’re not playing here.

Maybe Tuesday
Illness is a thief
Taking sick days better used
For something more fun.

Plans for Friday
Star Wars, George Lucas:
Is he genius or did he
Rob Kurosawa?

Friday night, Belcourt
Seven o clock with my friends
We will know the truth.

HELP!

2007-02-10T12:17:00.000-08:00

I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" last night with my roommate.

I need this shirt. Can anyone help?

UPDATE:

Still haven't found the LMS/dinosaur shirt, but thanks to Vick, am now also in love with the following:

Your Music Sucks shirt

Math Nerd shirt

A challenge

2007-02-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

With Valentine's Day a-coming, I wonder how many of us out there really know our stuff. The following is an excerpt of a game we've played the last couple of years at our annual "Sisters before Misters" bash. No cheating, now. (No, these choices aren't on this year's game.)

Romance Novel Title or Cosmetic Color Name?
1. Spellbound
2. Love Her Madly
3. Passing By
4. Traffic School
5. Nice Ride
6. Can't Get Enough
7. Younger Man
8. Stainless
9. Snog
10. Denim Dreams
11. Star-Kissed
12. Tease Me
13. Friction
14. Zero Guilt
15. Possession

Post your answers in the comments. Winner gets bragging rights. And maybe donuts, depending on where you live.

Breaking

2007-02-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

For the longest time, I lived with the pain and gave you every benefit of the doubt, because I didn't want to believe you were capable of something like that.

Once I realized you were, I realized you weren't actually the person I thought you were.

And it was easier to say goodbye.

Logan Huntzburger

2007-02-06T17:14:00.000-08:00

is a sleaze. Seriously, when are they going to kill this character off so Rory can fall in love with a good, quirky, poor, artsy guy? They only have until May, when the series ends.

Ugh.

Perfect Day

2007-02-03T14:57:00.000-08:00

When we were in England last October, we had a special treat. We had one day off, and as a group, couldn't decide what to do with it. So we turned the money over to Michelle, and she planned our day. She done good. We had a day in Italy. Specifically, in Venice. It was an amazing day, perfect in the end, so I thought I'd tell you all about it.

We stayed in a hostel in Bologna, which is about 2 hours away by train. So we got up obscenely early to catch a train to Venice. We had to take a bus from the hostel to the bus station, only a 20 minute ride. In theory. We split into two groups unintentionally. Most of the group headed out to the bus stop early, but 4 of us ended up running a few minutes behind them.

Well, the 4 of us missed the only morning bus, and ended up having to walk about 2 miles of that toward town. Finally we got on a bus that took us to the station, arriving just minutes before our train left. We missed breakfast, but we figured that we'd just grab something from the cafe car. But our train didn't have a cafe car, it turned out.

Don't worry, the day gets better.

We finally arrived in Venice just before 11:00 a.m. It was beautiful. The weather hovered right around 70 degrees all day, and since it was past tourist season, the city wasn't too crowded. We didn't have a guide book or anything, since we didn't know where we were going, so we bought a map at the train station and decided to just wander. St. Marks, the cathedral, was south of the station, so we just started walking.

Venice looks pretty much like every movie you've ever seen set in Venice. It was almost Disney-esque, it was so perfect. We were all pretty hungry at this point, and Lynn and I were both needing a coffee fix, so we decided to find somewhere to eat. We entered a little piazza with a cafe with outdoor tables. We went inside to order, and the owner and his wife helped us, even though neither of them spoke a word of English, and none of us spoke Italian. But we managed to order cappucinos, pizzas, and calzones. We sat outside in the sun and just people-watched. We realized pretty quickly that we were the only non-Italians around. Apparently, we found a place the locals eat. The food was beyond description. The coffee was the best I've ever had. Couples, families, kids playing soccer, all wandered past while we ate.

At one point, a dog trotted across the little square, and Lynn pointed out that it was an Italian dog. As in, if she said, "Here, boy!", it wouldn't know what she meant.

As we finished up, the bells of a nearby church rang out the noon hour. Moments later, another bell joined, and then another, until every bell in the city was part of the chorus. Yes, I cried; it moved me deeply. It was a moment I'll never forget.

After lunch, we continued our meanderings. We got lost several times, but finally made it to the market, the Rialto bridge, and St. Marks' Square.

Now, I'm not one who likes to look like a tourist. In fact, I hate it. But I went into full-on tourist mode that day. Saying, "wow" at every turn, taking way too many pictures, the whole deal. But I didn't care.

There was a small strings orchestra playing at an outdoor restaurant, and a couple tangoed in the square just outside of it. A newlywed couple strolled through in full bridal garb, having their pictures taken. The piazza was swarming with people, but was still vast and intimidating. After an hour or so of taking pictures of the square and cathedral from every possible angle, we stopped at a cafe along the lagoon. A couple of glasses of red wine, some tiramisu, and another cappucino later, we all had our postcards written and addressed and were ready to head back to the train station.

We went back through the market, the better to obtain souvenirs and gifts for people back home. We ran into one of the guys on our team, and walked back up to the station, where he had arranged to meet the others on our team for dinner. We all went to dinner at a couple of different places. My group ended up at a romantic (wasted) little place right on the Grand Canale. We had amazing pasta and another bottle or so of red wine. Then it was back on the train to Bologna to get ready to go back to England.

So it was definitely a highlight of the trip, and actually one of the best days of the year. Kudos to Michelle for putting it together for us.

Now, to figure out when I can get back.....

More pictures here.

Subliminal Plastic Motives

2007-01-30T08:32:00.000-08:00

Songs in my head today (so far - it's still early)

1. "So Low", by Self (woke up singing it),
2. "Want To" by Sugarland (heard it in the car on the way to work),
3. "Bootylicious", by Destiny's Child (courtesy of JT),and
4. "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen.

The last, I believe, prompted by someone saying "She's got it bad" as they walked past my desk a while ago.

Excuse me while I fire up the iPod.

Famous people I see in my sleep

2007-01-24T12:35:00.000-08:00

New readers to this blog may not realize that I dream fairly regularly about celebrities. Never the ones I'm obssessed with, but random people that come from nowhere. I haven't posted any in a while, because I haven't remembered the dreams vivdly enough to feel like it was worth it.

Last night, however, I had a sort-of celebrity dream. Sean from Jetpack UK (or "Jetpack Sean", as he's known to some) got a job at my company, as our new administrative assistant. He and I ate lunch together in the kitchen. Nothing too exciting, but the best Celebrity Dream I've had in a while.

(Previous Celebrity Dreams can be found here, along with another sort-of CD here.)

(Has it really been a year since I've had a bona-fide CD? Heavens!)

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In other news, I need a new alarm clock. Does anyone out there have any recommendations?

I prefer cheap (for obvious reasons), battery-powered, and obnoxious. Also, it has to have a snooze. I can take or leave a radio.

Let me know if you think you have the perfect one.

Thanks for nothing

2007-01-23T11:16:00.000-08:00

So after playing this game the other night, all I can think of for post titles are naughty things. Thanks, JB.

Anyway, have you heard the rumor that the Police may be playing Bonnaroo this year? I almost cried when I saw that. Because, Nashville being the non-conert-drawing city that it is, they probably won't play anywhere else nearby. But I can't go to Bonnaroo because I don't have the vacation time. Plus, I really don't want to deal with going to Bonnaroo. I might just throw up if it turns out to be true. Sting! How could you do this to me?

In other news, despite eating leftover beef stew for the last 2 days, I'm still craving peanut butter. I wonder if there is some other nutrient I'm missing. I don't know. But I think I'm going across the street to get a PB cookie. Toodles!

(That was for you, Mel.)

I (heart) WRLT

2007-01-19T15:50:00.000-08:00

First, Lightning 100 (or 100.1, or WRLT) has begun live streaming once again. (I think I mentioned this already, but it bears repeating.) This is the best radio station I have ever listened to anywhere. When I was in LA and England, I got through many a vicious study session by listening online to the sweet sounds from home.

My heart broke when they had to stop. Now, though, the fates understand that all people everywhere need access to this station, and they gave been allowed to start again.

Anyway, as testament both to the general quality of their programming AND to just how in sync they are with me, personally, they played "The Battle of Who Could Care Less" just a little while ago. Like they understood that it's been playing in my head since last weekend, and they wanted to help me out on a long, slow Friday afternoon.

So happy weekend, everyone. Good music has triumphed once again. (This is becoming a theme, I fear.)

Thursday Things

2007-01-18T16:10:00.000-08:00

First, a couple of observations:

1. Rumors of reunion tours for both The Police and the Spice Girls: if either or both of these happen, I will absolutely die. Then I will come back to life and go and sell my right arm to pay for a ticket.

2. Clearest sign I haven't had enough protein of late: I've been craving peanut butter. I never crave peanut butter. Weirdness.

3. Rolling Stone magazine has declared the death of the music business. Well, at least the CD-sales side of it. Unless and until the labels figure out how to make money in other ways, they will all go under. Very profoud, Rolling Stone. Exactly what everyone in my Music Business class concluded in 2002.

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Second, a Thankful Thursday post (which I've wanted to do for a while, but can never seem to remember on an actual Thursday):

Things I'm thankful for today:
1. The safe arrival of Noah Michael (see previous post) and his and his mother's health.
2. My best friend, with whom I can talk about anything. Also for the amazing conversation we had last weekend about, well, everything.
3. My job - especially with the new position and new desk, but even without that, I'm grateful to be in a much better place than I was one year ago.
4. Josh Ritter. I know I said it already, but his music is doing me good this week.
5. The new episode of "The Office" tonight. Jim Halpert, here I come!

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Finally, A Final Farewell (or, This Has Been a Long Time Coming):

Met 9 years ago. Hit it off instantly. Got very close very fast.

Lived in different states, so never crossed the line into Dating.

But fell in love with him, anyway. Never got up the nerve to tell him anything, though.

After moving to yet another state, started noticing our relationship becoming strangely one-sided.

Got tired of always being the one to pick up the phone to call.

Decided to not call, in order to see how long it would take for him to notice and call me.

That was 6 years ago, and he still hasn't called.

In the end, I think it was the right move, as much as it still hurts sometimes.

Baby Noah is here!

2007-01-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

(3 posts in one day is a record.)

My oldest (to me, she's not that old) friend in the world, Lisa, gave birth to her first child this morning. He looks like his proud papa. He was 10 lbs, 4 oz, and 22 inches. Lisa was in labor for 58 hours.

You can honor her by checking out the pictures I've put on flickr and commenting on how beautiful and perfect this child is.

Here's a teaser of me, mom, and baby:

The rest of the pictures can be found here.

New Template

2007-01-17T16:31:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's still me! But this is prettier than that old setup. And it goes with my new profile pic much better.

Songage

2007-01-17T11:03:00.000-08:00

I really, really love "Kathleen" by Josh Ritter. Also "Snow is Gone".

Good music can cure the ills of the world.

Crazy

2007-01-16T15:48:00.000-08:00

Highlights of my work week so far:

1. Yesterday, I got to hold a $1.5 million check. I only wish it were for me.
2. Gnarls Barkley at my office for a meeting today.
3. Moving to my new, larger, work area, where I have sole musical control.

***************************************
Songs stuck in my head the last few days (for Mel and JT):
1. "The Battle of Who Could Care Less", Ben Fold Five. I think brought on by my decision to paint my fingernails black this week.
2. "Lips of an Angel", Hinder. I HATE, HATE, HATE this song, but wake up singing it a lot.
3. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark", Deathcab for Cutie. Not a huge DFC fan, but I really like this song.
4. "Crazy", Gnarls Barkley. Self-explanatory.

Tomorrow I get to have music at my desk again. I can't wait, especially now that WRLT is live streaming again.

Open memo

2007-01-13T10:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Shane West,

Please find, and use, a razor.

Sincerely,
Tiffany

PS - Michelle and I would both appreciate it if you would tell Goran Visnjic to quit wearing turtlenecks. Thanks!

Monday update

2007-01-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

Hey, guys! Thank you all so much for your support last week. (Chris, I'm still waiting on those Tony Robbins materials....)

Things have gone quickly uphill for me, thankfully. Sometimes we all just get in a funk, I know, and that's where I was. It was just particularly bad because some issues resurfaced that I thought I had pretty much settled. So I'm working on those, once again, but it feels much better now that I have actions to take.

One huge piece of great news that helped a lot - I got a promotion on Friday! It was completely unexpected. In fact, part of what was going on last week was that I was making a lot of stupid mistakes and felt pretty incompetent. So to be called into my team leader's office and told that I would start reporting directly to her, and no longer to a supervisor, went a long way toward restoring my confidence, at least about work. But you know how it is - it trickles over into everything.

So thanks again for your kind words, prayers, thoughts, all of it. I love youse guys!

2007-01-03T10:59:00.000-08:00

Friends, I am asking for your prayers for me this week. The last few days, a lot of the ugly voices have resurfaced in my head. Voices that have been silent for a long, long time.

And all of a sudden, I'm 9 years old again, helping my teacher grade papers during recess because I know if I go outside, none of the kids will play with me.

The voices are telling me about all of the "proof" in my life showing that I'm not that cool/wanted/missed - the 4th-grade recesses, the life-long lack of attention from the opposite sex, the fact that I was unemployed for three years, despite having a presumably valuable degree and great resume and interview skills.

Lately there have been several happenings that have seemed to reinforce all of this, that have followed this same pattern of being left out, overlooked, forgotten, or just plain unwanted.

And so I'm not sleeping well, so I'm exhausted, and I'm doubting every aspect of my life - my job, my church, my social circle, everything.

I'm not asking for pity or, heaven forbid, advice, but just your thoughts and prayers. I know at one level that this isn't real, but I'm having a hard time believing that right now.

I want to fight this in a healthy way. It's tempting for me to just disappear into work, into surface relationships with people I don't know, into books and movies and TV, into food. I don't want to end up more hurting and lonely for walking away from this rather than fighting it, but right now, I know I don't have the strength.

Sorry for the dump today, but I am flooded and overwhelmed right now, and needed to get some of this out. And I know that there are people reading this who care, and who will stop and offer me up to the Lord. Thanks for that. It helps to know that.

These are a few of my favorite things

2006-12-11T15:50:00.000-08:00

1. Tangerine. Doesn't it make you feel good?

2. "Faith" by George Michael and "Kiss" by Prince. Recently discovered to not be, as previously thought, mere guilty pleasures. These are, in fact, two fantastic songs.

3. That I am still an INFJ (with a little INTJ thrown in, for good measure).

4. Netflix. Seriously, you need it if you don't have it.

5. LOST. Looking forward to a Season 2 marathon with my sister over Christmas, and the beginning of season 3.2 in February.

6. Kids. Not my own (yet), but they are just so much fun. I spent a good long time Saturday night being "Barnacle Pete" to Carson's "Cap'n Blacksword". When was the last time you played pretend?

7. Soup in the winter. Mmmmm.

8. Chocolate.

9. Thursday afternoons, when the weekend is finally in sight.

10. Jazz. This week, especially the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack.

Happy Monday!

Tagged again

2006-12-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile, so...

(From Malia.)

Three things -

That Scare me: serial killers, financial insecurity, and the enduring popularity of Julio Iglesias

People who make me laugh: Dave Barry, John Krasinski, and Jack Black

I hate: negativity, olives, and the August weather

I don't understand: why someone would choose to not take the opportunity to make a change for the better, how someone can walk away from a good relationship and never look back, and why I can't convince my 11-year-old cousin to listen to music by anyone but Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney.

Things on my desk: self-painted ceramic pencil cup, a rubber lizard I won at Chuck E. Cheese, and piles of paperwork I haven't finished.

I'm doing right now: guestblogging on Nashville is Talking, watching an Alaska-survivial documentary on PBS, and wondering if I can put off going to the grocery for one more day.

I want to do before I die: travel as often as possible, write a novel, and have a family

I can't do: whistle (me either, Malia!), let go, quite make ends meet on my current salary

I think you should listen to: The Beatles, jazz, and people you trust (even when they're saying what you don't want to hear)

You should NEVER listen to: Kenny Chesney, Bill O'Reilly, or anyone who tells you that you're unimportant

I'd like to learn: more about myself, Flemish, and how to play the guitar

Favorite foods: chocolate, broccoli, and Kroger-brand Lucky Charms

Beverages: coffee, milk, and chianti

Shows I watched as a kid: Spiderman, She-Ra, and Mr. Rogers

Alright, now to share the fun: I'll tag Mel, JT, and Michelle (c'mon - it's a good excuse to update it!)

Vandy v. Lipscomb

2006-12-08T10:15:00.000-08:00

Did anyone else see it? If so, I have a question. When they made the controversial call on Dan Cage, why did they count his basket? Or was it not a charge but some other foul they called? Is there an exception somewhere I don't know about?

(There was a call made on a play during which Cage made a shot, but he and a Lipscomb player were knocking against each other and they both went down. The refs didn't agree at first whether Cage or the Lipscomb player had committed the foul, although they all agreed there was one. In the end, it seemed like they compromised, and gave Vandy the 2 points, but also called a foul on Cage.)

I thought that it was pretty black and white that, if you committed a charge, your basket didn't count. Clearly, though, there's something I don't know about either what happened or the rule itself. Can anyone help?

I guess my education worked, after all

2006-12-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

Although I think there are those who would disagree. Explains why my grandmother from rural Giles county has a hard time understanding me, though.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Progress (or lack thereof)

2006-11-30T15:29:00.000-08:00

South Africa, long-time bastion of conservativism and racism, is now officially more progressive than Tennessee.

I love this place, but the recent election did kind of break my heart. It didn't surprise me, but it did make me sad.

Update

2006-11-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

Katie Smith died on Saturday. Your continued prayers for James and the rest of the family are appreciated.

A Moment

2006-11-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

I wish I had the courage to put what I really feel, deep down, on here. But I don't.
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Please keep praying for my friend James and his wife, Katie. She is in the final stages on pancreatic cancer. The cancer was discovered after she became pregnant. The baby died a few weeks ago, and now Katie is nearing the end. It's unbelievable to watch this. Please keep them in your prayers.

Happy 2007!

2006-10-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know it's a little early, but I'm excited about the 2007 Spirit of Nashville calendar, since the Donut Den will be featured this year! Not only do we get a wicked retro page in the actual calendar, but there's a full, framed poster of our print hanging in the store. (And one at my parents' house for me, I'm told!)

Copies can be bought at www.spiritofNashville.com, and I understand that mom and dad will have merchandise (t-shirts, mugs, etc.) for sale in the store at some point.

Just in time for Christmas, too! Guess what you're all getting this year.....

Of Bunco and cheerleaders

2006-09-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

So it's only 2:00 on Saturday afternoon, but it's been a pretty eventful weekend already.

Last night I attended the inaugural Blogger Bunco night at Mothership BBQ in Berry Hill. There were 12 local female bloggers of assorted types, and we had a blast. I won a prize for having the most losses. That's my kind of prize. I'll post pictures as soon as I can get my pics uploaded onto my home computer, and then get my computer somewhere with internet access so I can load them here. It seems way more complicated than it ought to be.

Then today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion picnic. Wow. I'm seriously not old enough for this. Almost everyone there was married with at least one offspring, and one couple has four already. Again, I'm not ready to handle this.

It was a lot of fun, in the end. In the words of a coworker, it was great to go and feel "normal" with these people. I still felt a little prickly toward some of the girls I didn't get along with back then, but I wasn't there to get along with them. I was there to see my friends' babies, to get caught up on the gossip, and to make myself feel better by going in there with the confidence and self-esteem that I have developed over the last decade.

There were several people there whom I hadn't seen since graduation that I was very happy to see. There were a handful that I was disappointed I didn't have more time to talk with.

That doesn't mean I'll shell out $50 for the dinner tonight.

All in all, though, I survived, and I'm glad I went. Tonight promises poker and margaritas with people I am very close to, and I'm glad for that.
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Here are the promised Bunco pics:

More on my flickr site (see banner to the right). Enjoy!

Things I Dreamed Last Night

2006-09-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me say that I slept very badly last night, and my dreams are much more vivid and memorable (or at least I just remember them better) when I sleep poorly. So, in no particular order, interesting things I remember about my walk through the shades last night:

1. Watching MTV, they played the new single from Shawn Colvin, followed by the new one by Mary Chapin Carpenter. It was a beautiful song, and she looked great. I was just a little upset that I didn't even know that her album was that far along yet.

2. I was smoking again. Cigarettes. To the point that I thought, "Well, I guess that now, when people ask, I'll have to say that I'm a smoker. Even though I never smoke more than one in a day." Can someone tell me why I dream about smoking? I've never actually smoked anything in my life. But this is a recurring thing in my dreams. Weird.

3. I dreamed about him again. The one who got away. Don't know where that came from, but it always throws me for a loop when he shows up. Nothing too special - he was just back here in Nashville, in my world again.

So - fun things to blackmail me with down the line. I'll see some of you tonight at the Nashville is Talking blogger thing, some at the Will Hoge show. The rest of you, have a great weekend!

Rainy days and Mondays

2006-09-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so today isn't either. But I'm down.

Help

2006-09-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

If you're the praying type, I am asking your assistance. This morning I had an email from a friend from college. This isn't someone I have kept in touch with, but we recently reconnected through a mutual friend.

Anyway, James and his wife, Katie, recently found out they are pregnant, after trying for quite a while. They are now at 13 weeks. She's been having some abdominal pain, and her OB thought she might have gallstones, so she went in yesterday for some tests.

They found a tumor on her pancreas, and some lesions on her liver. They aren't sure if the liver lesions are cancerous or not, but since she survived a bout with skin cancer 3 years ago, things don't look good.

The kicker is that, if the liver is cancerous, there is no way to treat Katie that won't be fatal to the baby. And they can't wait until the baby is born to start treating her, because of her medical history.

So please. please be praying for them. If her liver is not cancerous, they will try some treatments that won't be as harmful to the baby. So first and foremost, we are pleading that those results will come back negative.

But regardless, this is going to be a really tough time for James and Katie. Pray for their strength, and that this time will work to bring them closer to each other and to God, and won't tear them down.

Thanks, y'all.

This Strange Life

2006-09-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

Hey - better late than never, right?

Anyway, I cannot believe it's been 3 months since I've done anything on here. It's hard, though, because I no longer have internet access at home, and I'm not supposed to do this kind of thing during work hours.

So other than the occasional Saturday that I'm in the office (ahem), I don't know how much I'll be able to do with my blog. But I like having it, so I don't intend to just quit.

Onto the real stuff.

First of all, a quick update:

I still love my job. I can't believe I've been here 8 months. 8 months today, actually. It's great, other than having to work the occasional Saturday. I had a review and got a raise, so that was nice. I also had a conversation with the partner I'm under and let her know that I'm willing to move to London to help open that office when the time comes. Probably in the next 2-3 years.

In the meantime, I'm going back to England next month, to repeat the mission trip I did last year. I'm leading again this year, this time, by myself. My co-leader is starting school and so is going on a trip that fits her school schedule better. We have a good group - we're taking 10, plus a friend is coming down from Scotland for the week. Instead of London this year, one of our team members has planned our free travel in secret. We don't know where we're going. I have my theories, though. My money is on Paris.

My brother, Ted, is home from China. My sister, Tara, is back in Texas. I'm still in Nashville.

My prom date (and friend)'s album came out this week, and he has a top-5 single on the Christian charts. It's weird, but I'm so proud of him. He's affecting a lot of people in a really positive way.

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Second, I got tagged by JT a few weeks ago, and haven't had a chance to participate yet. So here goes:

(I want to preface this by saying that I'm following JT's rule that the Bible isn't included in this. No "God" answers here.)

1. One book that changed your life: Jurassic Park. An unexpected choice, I know. But I read it at 12, and it was the first "adult" book I read. It also created in me an unchangeable appetite for entertaining, fun fiction that challenges me intellectually. Hard to find, but Michael Crichton is great at it. Plus, it has dinosaurs, and I wanted to be a paleontologist for much of my young life. I thought it was cool that adults would write and read a book about what is traditionally either a kid's book or textbook subject.

2. One book that you've read more than once: Just one? This is hard. I've probably read Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy more times than any other single book. Since Hop on Pop, anyway.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. It's completely engrossing, escapist without being unintelligent, and long enough that by the time I finished I'd be ready to start again.

4. One book that made you laugh: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers, the guy who started mcsweeney's.net. It's his memoirs about the deaths of his parents within a month of each other, and how he and his siblings got their lives going again.

5. One book that made you cry: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (I liked that one a lot. Can you tell?)

6. One book you wish had been written: The World According to Tiff Sniff: The Life and Times of America's Favorite Fluff Novelist. One of these days I'll get around to writing for real.

7. One book you wish had never been written: The Prayer of Jabez. It's full of Americanized Christianity and other crap. A lot of people think this is what the Bible is all about, whereas I found it to be pretty much the opposite of everything Jesus stood for.

8. One book you're currently reading: A Breath of Snow and Ashes (it's the 6th book in the Outlander series.)

9. One book you've been meaning to read: Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner, who's coming to the Zoe conference, which I think I will be unable to attend, sadly.

10. Tag others: Does anyone even check here anymore? My guess is, probably not. But we'll see. I'll tag E-co, Angie, Katie, and Big Orange Michael, of they haven't been already.

******************************
Alright, well, the big scary tornado-y storms are getting closer, and since our power always gets iffy during a storm, and I really don't want to have to wait out the rain at work, I'm going to take off.

Thanks, my few faithful readers, and I hope to see you here again real soon!

Friday Fun

2006-06-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome, baby Emma Nicole! My friend Jason and Heather welcomed their daughter yesterday. She is amazingly beautiful. Shiloh-Nouvel ain't got nothing on this girl. Pictures when I have them.

***********************

80 Questions

Do you watch the Gilmore Girls? Only when Logan isn't on it. I'm glad they shipped him overseas. Maybe his plane will crash and we won't have to watch it anymore.

Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson? Many times. I look forward to enjoying his music again in the near future.

Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.? I loved it until halfway through this last season, when it inexplicably got really, really bad.

Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.? No, and I'm proud to say that I have never owned one in my life.

Do you regularly watch the news? No. I get my information from various news websites. I'm a big fan of breitbart.com, sploid.com, and perezhilton.com.

Which radio stations are your favorites? 100.1

Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? No

Queen? Absolutely!

Alanis Morisette? Yes

Do you watch Family Guy regularly? Nope. I keep hearing how fabulous it is, but I just can't get into it.

The Simpsons? I would if I could, but it never seems to be on when I can watch it.

King of the Hill? Not really

Seventh Heaven? I watched it for a few months while I was in grad school. But I got bored with it.

Do you read trashy romance novels often? Not trashy ones. And not what you're thinking of when you think "romance novels". I'm a big fan of Jennifer Crusie.

Do you really work out every day? No. I should, though.

Have you ever eaten an entire pint or more of ice cream by yourself? Yes, and I loved every minute of it.

Have you ever eaten nothing but junk food for a week straight? Not that I can remember. I feel really sick after a day or two with no "real" food.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car when you're driving alone? Don't you? What's the point of having a radio if you're not going to sing along? I do it when people ride with me, too.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home? No, I'm usually still half asleep

Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12? I worked in day care for 10 years. What do you think?

Have you ever looked forward to going to school? I loved it until law school. That pretty much finished me off.

The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary
Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they werent really? When I was young. I had/have a healthy imagination.

What did you draw for your first crush back in elementary school? I have never been confident in my drawing abilities. I was more likely to give him my dessert or sit by him on the rug or something.

Have you ever liked a girl or guy but didn't ask them out because you were afraid? Yes, although I don't "ask guys out". I have been too afraid to reveal my true feelings, though.

Have you ever written a poem or story about your love life? Not directly, but a lot of what I write has been affected by my experiences.

An autobiography? My life isn't that dramatic.

Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but nothing? I don't think so. I have spent hours in thought about real things, though.

Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance? No more than a passing appreciation

The Questions You Love: Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones

Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis? No, but I try to have plenty of protein and fiber every day.

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? Not at all

Have you ever been to South America or Africa? Not yet

Have you ever owned a Klutz book or kit? No.

Do you know how to knit? Just a little. I'm much better with crochet.

Do you have a cell phone or an iPod with a patterened cover? No, I'm not fifteen anymore.

Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile? Um, no.

Do you keep a diary or journal (online or on paper)? Yes.

Do you own a striped sweater? No. I'm not big on stripes.

How often do you take a bubble bath? My new bathtub stopper doesn't work, so not much. I used to take one every Saturday, though.

When you open your closet, what is the dominant color of your clothes? black. But I have a pretty healthy array overall.

Truly Unusual This or That Questions
Baskin Robbins or Coldstone? Baskin. It's a classic.

Sees or Godiva? Sees

The Shins or the Decemberists? The Shins.

America or Canada? America. Nashville, specifically.

Physics or chemistry? I did so badly in chemistry that I never took physics. Tara is the scientist. Well, and Dad.

Earphones or headphones? Headphones. My ear canals are small, and earphones hurt and don't stay in well.

Chocolate brown or teal? Brown, although I wore both together yesterday.

Earrings or a ring? Earrings

Commitment or casual dating? Um, how about casual until we get to the point that we're ready to make a commitment. In general, though, I don't waste my time. I won't go out with someone just because they ask me. I have to think it could go somewhere. Sorry, I'm picky.

Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry

Fly or road trip? Depends on how far I'm going.

Starbucks or Petes? Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf

Another Wave of Random Questions

What is your favorite Disney movie? Aladdin

How much jewelry do you own? Not as much as my mom.

Have you memorized the rejection hotline, just in case? No, but I used to keep a copy of the LA one in my wallet, when I lived there.

Have you ever given someone the rejection hotline as your number? Only in jest. I don't give anything to the people I'm rejecting. Otherwise it's just leading them on, and that's mean.

Do you own any Care Bears memorabilia? Does an actual Care Bear count? Not that I still have one. And if I did, I certainly wouldn't keep it in my room, not me. (Note to self: be sure to get home and "clean" room before you have company over.)

Do you have a comforter on your bed? A big hypoallergenic one that I got for Christmas. Now if only I had a duvet cover for it.....

Dodgeball Update

2006-06-13T15:55:00.000-07:00

For those of you wondering, our tournament went very, very well this past weekend. We had 16 teams (not as many as we'd hoped, but still a great turnout) and somewhere around 150 or so spectators. We raised $1380 after expenses, which will go a long way to helping our two missions teams pay for our travel.

Highlights included the goth team called "Precious in His Sight", the winning team that was entirely composed of people from a "rival" church, a kickin' bake sale and facepainting for the kids, and the ministry team that, surprisingly, stayed in the competition well into the night. This although they asked to play first to "get it over with".

So it was a great night, and we're definitely looking forward to this being a growth enterprise.

Sea Change

2006-06-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

I think my alma maters are out to embarrass me.

Colleen Graffey was the director of Pepperdine's London Program while I attended in the fall of 2001, and when I worked as the program assistant back in Malibu in 2002-2003.

I didn't like her then, and I don't like her now. To think that she, as a former professor of international law and a current diplomat, would basically defend keeping Gitmo open based on the "Well, it happened to us once" defense, blatantly ignoring international conventions and laws as well as the US Constitution, makes me embarassed to admit that so much of my professional training and education was associated with her.

More and more I am disgusted with the Republican party. If you had asked me three years ago, I would have told you that while I evaluated each candidate and election individually, I usually aligned with the GOP. No more. After watching our administration repeatedly violate the most basic human rights of these people, after cringing as the politicos who call themselves "Christian" tried to pass a Constitutional amendment banning one of the most basic American rights to a huge part of the population based on nothing more than a general uncomfortability with sexuality, and after seeing the basic disrespect these people have for the common man who pays their salaries, I'm done.

Consider me a Democrat-leaning independent from now on. It will be a long time before I vote for a Republican again.

Dodgeball Tournament 2006

2006-06-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

It's that time again! For the second year in a row, Otter Creek Church in Brentwood will be holding a dodgeball tournament to raise money for missions.

It starts this Saturday, June 10, at 4:00 p.m. The cost is $10 per player, and the spectator fee is $3. Teams must have at least 6 players, and must be co-ed. You can also sign up individually and we will place you on a team. Players must be at least 16 years old, and will have to sign a liability waiver before they can play.

The tournament will be held in the gym at Otter Creek, with concessions and face-painting for the kids.

If you're interested in playing, shoot me an email at tiffsniff (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Hope to see you there!

Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee

2006-06-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

My Boca Java stuff finally came! Woo hoo! In case you don't read Malia's blog (and you really should), BJ is a company that is starting up to sell coffee online. Specifically, they are targeting their marketing to us bloggers. As a part of that, a few of us lucky dogs get to drink some of their coffee for free, in return for reviewing it on our blogs.

Of course, the family I'm housesitting for doesn't have a coffee machine.

But I'll go get mine from the apartment and set up camp. I'm really excited about this. I drink a lot of coffee, but I'm definitely not ~~a connoss~~ ~~a conosseu~~ an expert. I know what I like, though, and I think I can express myself fairly well.

And if you don't drink it, I will also be reviewing several different brands of chocolate bar, at various costs and levels of importedness. It's a lot of work, but I'm willing to sacrifice for you.

Kids

2006-05-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

Chuck E. Cheese was every bit as good as I remembered. I won 175 tickets, which got me a Chuck E. Cheese Koosh, a pink plastic ring, and a little lizard, which now sits on my computer. We had a lot of fun with the kids. I’ll have to go back later in the summer when my own young cousins are in town.

Well, tonight is the last night that I’m teaching my class at church. For the last two years, on Wednesday nights, I’ve taught the 2-year-old class. It has been a challenge some weeks, but even so, every single week has been encouraging and uplifting. If you have the patience for it, there is nothing like the smile, laugh, and/or hug of a young child to just plain make you feel good.

However. With the good comes the exhaustion and stress inherent in trying to corral 10-12 toddlers for an hour every week. And so I’m taking a break. I know I’ll come back and teach again eventually, probably this same age group, but for now I need some time off.

It’s sad, because if I stayed, I would get the first batch of younger siblings – babies born while I taught their older brothers and sisters two years ago. There are at least 3 or 4 in the group promoting up into “my” class, and I hate that I’ll miss that time with them, but it’s just time to say no.

But I’m looking forward to being able to go to Movies in the Park and all of the awesome Wednesday-night concerts this summer. Come fall, I’ll be able to stay home and watch LOST, if I so choose. It will be nice to have the choice, anyway.

Bad grammar and good friends

2006-05-30T14:25:00.000-07:00

It’s a slow day at work, so I have a few minutes to post, for once. I can always seem to find time to read other people’s blogs, but not to post to my own. Maybe because it does take a little more effort. Although anyone who reads this regularly will know that I’m not known for my effort.

But I’m housesitting for a family with wi-fi for a few weeks, so hopefully I’ll find time for a few more posts this month.

Right now, I have two major, urgent, pressing projects I need to finish for work. One requires some feedback at this point from my Boss boss. The other I’m being taught how to do by my Supervisor boss. So wouldn’t you know that one of our Big clients is here, and they’re both meeting with him. So until they get back, you’ll have to suffer my random thoughts.

Oh, I’m also going to experiment with posting my blog both at myspace and at blogspot, in a lame attempt to garner a little more traffic. Of course, it won’t be worth much if I continue my lackadaisical blogging, but maybe it will create some incentive for me, too. Or something.

The holiday weekend was pretty great. Thursday night I had dinner with Jennifer, James (aka the Malibu Librarian) and his wife Candice, and the Fabric Snob. We ate at the Loveless, which is a must-do for any self-respecting Nashville tourist. (Not that I’m calling you a tourist, JA.)

Friday night, I watched a movie and spent some time hanging out with people from church that I don’t spend a lot of time with. It was a random group, but a lot of fun. And, of course, “Zoolander’ is always a hit. Saturday I hit the mall and spent more money than I should have, which was great. That night I cooked dinner for my girlfriends and we scrapbooked and watched “Pride and Prejudice” and the first episode of “MI-5”, which I received for my birthday from Michelle and the Fabric Snob. (Bonus points for knowing the connection there, unless you're someone who has heard me go on and on and on about this particular obsession.)

Sunday and Monday I moved over to the place I’m housesitting. My parents’ best friends are in Europe for a few weeks with the university they both teach at, and they’re paying me to stay in their fabulous house, complete with a Jacuzzi, pool table, and movie projector and screen. And cable TV. It’s the small things in life. Fortunately, my roommate’s sister is still staying with us, so she can keep Vera company.

Tonight, I’m going to Chuck E. Cheese for the first time in about 20 years. I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m excited. My roommate and I took her young cousins to see “Narnia” in January, and they apparently had a good time, because they’ve been wanting us to take them to see the giant creepy mouse who sells crappy pizza and lame games for more money than they’re worth. But I’m looking forward to it, really.

No extra points for catching all the prepositions I used to end sentences with. I’m too lazy to go back and fix them now, even if it’s you I’m doing it for, fair reader. Happy Tuesday.

Baby Connor

2006-05-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

Phil's new baby is here! Hit his blog for details and pictures. Congratulations, y'all! Can't wait to babysit for both of your cuties now!

Guilty

2006-05-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

Let the corporate-veil piercing and class action lawsuits begin.

Updates

2006-05-18T15:56:00.000-07:00

Has it really been 3 weeks since I've posted? Since I started working this "real" job, I just don't have as much playtime, go figure. And when I do, honestly, I don't want to sit in front of a computer.

But I do have a lot on my mind. Here are a couple of snapshots of the inside of my brain:

1. I hurt my back again. I actually missed two days of work earlier this week, and spent four days straight lying on my living room floor. Today is the first day I've put in a whole day, and just this afternoon am I comfortable enough to sit for a few minutes. Although I think I will regret it when I try to stand.

2. My roommate's sister moved to Nashville over the weekend, to be the new manager at a local store for a national clothing chain that caters to slutty pre-adolescents. Anyway, she hasn't been feeling well, and last night went to a doctor, who diagnosed her with pneumonia. She's at Vandy, for the next day or so. She's staying with us until she gets settled in and finds a place of her own, so our apartment is becoming poor-baby central.

3. Sedley Allen: those of you from states besides TN probably don't know anything about this. Short version is that he's on Death Row and was scheduled to be executed earlier this week, but the governor gave him a 2-week stay so that DNA could be tested, and also to give the US Supreme Court time to decide whether or not to review a case challenging lethal injection, which is how he will die. I am in general opposed to the death penalty for a number of reasons, the most important being that, as a Christian, I believe that all life is important and has hope and potential. The death of any person, no matter how degenerate we may think he is, eliminates all potential redemption in this life. Also, it is generally more expensive than housing an inmate for life, does nothing to deter crime (since most murders are heat-of-the-moment, and the perpetrators don't take the time to contemplate a death sentence), creates a society of fans (seriously) who glorify what the person has done, is applied disporportionately against minorities and the impoverished, and does nothing towards our penal sytem's purported goal of rehabilitating offenders. The law being what it is, Gov. Bredesen did the right thing. Sedley Allen has every chance under the existing rules to save his life. Maybe DNA analysis will cast doubt onto his conviction, although I doubt it. Maybe the Supreme Court will take up the lethal injection, and no one will be killed by that method for a while. We'll see. Either way, he's done what he can, while not standing in the way of decided law.

4. Da Vinci. Read the book, going to see the movie, even if it does suck. Don't care much about the controversy. I think it's great that there is discussion being spurred within the church about the supression of women over th centuries. I think there has been a lot of that, and a lot of denial of the feminine side of God's nature. It doesn't bother me to think that maybe Jesus got married and had kids. He did live a full human life, right? I don't think he did, though, b/c surely the gospel writers would have included His example as father and husband. But it wouldn't change who He was or what He did, in the end, so what does it matter? And the church has suppressed people and covered things up. We'll have to account for that some day. Why not come clean now? It would add to our credibility at this point.

Answers to your pressing questions

2006-04-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Is Tom Cruise Nuts?

Has anyone ever tried to make a giant Rolo or M&M?

Is there a listserve that will send me daily emails about where to buy the latest fashion trends, luxury items, and pampering stuffs?

Is LOST a repeat this week?

Can I find out what happened on my favorite show last week, in a format that includes lots of snarky commentary?

Is there a website offering quality gossip, a la perez hilton or defamer, about just Nashville?

Are student government officers ridiculous everywhere, or just where I go/went to school?

See? I'm not the only one....

2006-04-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

...who sees the light. From Tom Cruise is Nuts:

We've had Persian-speaking readers inform us that, in the first place, contrary to the Cruiser's claim, their lanuguage is actually called "Farsi", and second, contrary to the Cruiser's claim, Suri does not mean "rose". It means "To blow a trumpet" or "talk foolishly or at random." Japanese-speaking readers have pointed out that "Suri" means "pickpocket" in Japanese. French-speaking readers have noticed that "Suri" sounds like "Souris", which means mouse in French. So all that is just super.

But the best explanation (or "crazy conspiracy theory" if you prefer) came from a reader who goes by the nom de guerre Darth Chef:

"Suri = S.U.R.I.Scientology's Ultimate Resurrection Incarnate.Some say the "I" is for "Idea" but now that it is for real, the "I" stands for Incarnate.Tom's baby is actually the spawn of L. Ron himself, not Thomas J. Mapother IV. The plot I am about to share with you has been in the works since L. Ron was alive (the first time around).Soon after Tom Cruise met Katie Holmes, he approached the highest figures in Scientology. He let them know that he found a perfect specimen to carry SEED. For those of you who don't know what SEED is, it is the sperm specimen retrieved from L. Ron Hubbard upon his deathbed. For years it had been kept in a classified location. Only OT Level 3 Scientologists who were viewed as qualified were considered candidates for implanting SEED. When Tom approached COS, they quickly obliged. They entrusted Tom Cruise with the role of implanting SEED into Katie Holmes. The fertilization was obviously successful...This could be the true reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Let the ultimate battle between good and evil begin. "

Hat tip: Knucklehead, blogging at NIT.

Update:
"If vitamins and exercise alone explain why Tom Cruise is so, um, knowledgeable and well-grounded, pass the Prozac."- Chicago Tribune

I'm a label snob

2006-04-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

I bought a new mattress set today!

The old ones (which were literally decades old, by the way) got tossed in the move, and I've been sleeping on the floor or sofa every night while I've looked for new ones. The other day, I went to a local mattress store and began testing them out. When I got to this one, all my vertebrae lined up and my entire body just relaxed. I started to worry that it would revolt against me and just not get back up again.

Anyway, after a few days of tweaking my finances just so, I went and paid for them today. (You should know that I got a SIGNIFICANT discount off of the price on this website.) They won't be delivered until next week, so I have a few more nights on the floor, but it's so going to be worth it.

And, they're Vera Wang. How cool is that?

But the best part is: they're sparkly. You can kind of tell on the website, but the embroidery is done in glitter thread. I know how jealous you must be.

Update: Malia pointed out in the comments that this is listed as a bridal mattress on the website. No, I'm not trying to tell you anything. It's just a really, really comfortable set.

Xenu bless us, everyone!

2006-04-19T07:16:00.000-07:00

So by now, I'm sure you've heard of the joyous news of the birth of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter, Suri. What perhaps you haven't realized yet, and what I'm here to explain to you, is that this birth is bigger than a mega-celebrity and the media.

My theory, and I stand by it, is that this is the immaculately-conceived messiah of the Scientologists. I mean, think about it. Here's this huge star, the world's best-known Scientologist, who takes a woman for himself. A virgin, who has repeatedly stated that she wouldn't give it up until she had a (marriage) license to do so. All of a sudden she's pregnant? Clearly this child was given her by the god Xenu.

Exhibit two: the impossibly-long pregnancy. If she was, in fact, pregnant (and this whole thing wasn't just a stunt to prove the virility of Mr. Cruise by hiding another adoption with a big fake tummy), then it lasted a heck of a long time. I mean, it was October when she started showing - and showing big. That's six months ago. A normal human gestational period is 40 weeks, or about 9 months. That means she would have been no more than 3 months pregnant at the time. Most women aren't showing much at all at that point, at least not more than a little all-over weight gain. Yet Katie had a midsection already requiring maternity clothes and attracting paparazzi snapshots.

It makes sense that an extra-terrestrial child would require a different, possibly longer, time in the womb.

The third fact that leads me to conclude that this birth is quite important is the birth of Brooke Shields' child on the exact same day. Follow me here. Tom and Brooke last year had a very public feud in the media over the merits of psychology vs. Scientology. If Tom and Katie's girl is the Science-christ, then clearly, Brooke's child is the anti-Science-christ. Right?

Every time I read an article about these people, another piece of the puzzle falls into place. Now that you know, you'll see the signs everywhere, as well. Clearly we are living in important times. The aliens are coming back for us all soon.

Merry Sciencemas to you all!

Self-Discovery

2006-04-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

I recently set up a Johari window, and thought I'd share. (awwww.)

Arena

(known to self and others)

caring, independent, intelligent, logical, mature, silly

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, adaptable, bold, cheerful, confident, dependable, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, kind, knowledgeable, loving, observant, organised, reflective, religious, searching, sensible, sentimental, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

Unknown

(known to nobody)

brave, calm, clever, complex, dignified, energetic, idealistic, ingenious, introverted, modest, nervous, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, responsive, self-assertive, self-conscious, shy, spontaneous, tense, wise

Dominant Traits

53% of people think that TiffSniff is dependable
60% of people agree that TiffSniff is intelligent

All Percentages

able (13%) accepting (13%) adaptable (6%) bold (20%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (20%) cheerful (20%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (20%) dependable (53%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (13%) friendly (40%) giving (20%) happy (6%) helpful (6%) idealistic (0%) independent (13%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (60%) introverted (0%) kind (13%) knowledgeable (13%) logical (6%) loving (13%) mature (6%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (13%) organised (13%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (6%) relaxed (0%) religious (26%) responsive (0%) searching (6%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (6%) sentimental (20%) shy (0%) silly (33%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (6%) tense (0%) trustworthy (20%) warm (26%) wise (0%) witty (20%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 13.4.2006, using data from 15 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window.

Basically, it's a chance to see how well you know yourself - what traits do you see in yourself vs. what others see in you. I know Michael did one a while back, too.

The "Arena" contains traits that you see in yourself that others see as well. "Blind Spot" are characteristics that others see in you more than you do. "Unknown" characteristics are ones that no one (yourself or others) names as dominant in your personality, and "Facade" are the traits you think you have that no one else sees - either you hide them, or you're just imagining them.

There's just one person who did mine that I'm not sure I know. Other than that, it was a very reassuring exercise, and a good way to put off actual work a few more minutes.

Excuse me, but your Southern is showing

2006-04-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of weeks, every time I've tried to type "window", I've typed "winder" instead. I'm worried about what this means about the state of my inner monologue.

Twisters and Gas Leaks and Shopping - Oh My!

2006-04-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

1. The storms Friday were nasty. I'm sure you've seen the news coverage. I have nothing to add other than that I and everyone I know came through it okay.

2. This morning, as I was getting my things together to walk out the door, my coworker Bridget called me. Turns out there was a major gas leak at the Shell station across the street from our office, and the fire marshall told us we had to clear the building for the foreseeable future. So we all got an unexpected day off. Now, tomorrow will be hellish as we try to catch up, but it was worth it - a gorgeous day outside, perfect for a day of vacation.

3. Michelle and I move this weekend. My apartment is approximately 25% packed up. Not sure when the rest of it will be done. (No, I didn't do much today. For one thing, the day off was a gift, and I didn't want to miss enjoying it. Secondly, I was out of boxes, and didn't want to get out and chase them down.)

4. I went shopping tonight, because I had a coupon for NY&Co. That store is ridiculously fabulous (or fabulously ridiculous; I'm not sure). For me, anyway. I found some cute earrings, and when I got them home, realized they match this really cute necklace I got on the Venice Boardwalk three years ago right before I moved back here from LA. I've only worn it a couple of times, because I haven't had earrings to match it. It's perfect for summer, so I'm stoked!

5. The Harding reception the other night: sadly, it turned out to be more of a recruiting event than anything else. I didn't know anyone, and we didn't stay too long. Two observations, though. First, our president gets mocked a lot. You think he really can't be that absurd. But, he really is. Second, Jim Bill McInteer is an amazing man. Whatever resentment and vitriol I carried into that place was dissipated by his comments. That's a true Christian; men like him take the wind out of my sails when I want to rail on my alma mater.

6. The Chronicles of Narnia is one of the most powerful Christian films ever made. We were watching it the other night, and I wondered what non-Christians get out of it. I think it must seem like a very odd, illogical children's tale if you don't know what the underlying story is. I don't think I would like it at all if I didn't believe: if I didn't know the story of Christ, I think it would just seem weird and disjointed. If I did know, but didn't believe, I think I would feel preached at. I know I don't have many non-Christians in my readers, but I'd love to know what you think, if you saw it - warts and all. Does Narnia appeal to you? Why or why not?

Maybe there really is an Oz....

2006-04-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

If you're not in Nashville, and therefore not huddled in your basement or other small, interior, windowless room (as I should be), take a moment to pray for this area. We're on the front end of a major storm system and two people have been killed already. This could be the worst storm for us in a decade.

Thanks.

Alma Mater, Hail

2006-04-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight I'm off to a reception for alumni of my undergraduate university. At Lexus of Cool Springs, so it's clearly going to be a classy do. The president should be there (and maybe his assistant, if I'm so lucky). It's obvious that this is nothing more than an attempt to guilt us all into contributing some dough.

I hope that no one is too offended that I, a woman, will be in a pantsuit, but if I'd worn a skirt, my tattoo would have been visible - clear and convincing proof of my eternal destination.

It's no secret to my few loyal readers that, while I had a fabulous experience in college, and love so many people there dearly, I have issues with the way certain things have been handled by the administration. (Come to think of it, I owe you all a response post to our beloved leader's "Statement of Core Values" that came out a few months ago. I bet I'll be fired up enough by the time I get home tonight to write it.) So I probably won't feel the need to actively ruffle feathers, but it will be interesting to consciously walk into a circumstance populated primarily by people who support and believe in the facets of the school to which I strongly object. If I can keep from laughing in a certain person's face (if he even deigns to speak with a heathen such as myself), I'll consider the night a well-mannered success. If I get into any discussions regarding politics, religion in politics, the role of women in the church, the unity of believers, or the social responsibility (or absence thereof) of government, they may revoke my diploma. But it's a chance I'm ready to take.

Until I return.....

My weekend

2006-04-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

Make that One Degree....

2006-03-29T09:09:00.000-08:00

So it turns out that I'm closer to the Winkler family than I thought. I actually went to high school with one of Matthew Winkler's brothers; we stood next to each other in chorus my senior year. My heart broke a little bit more when I found that out. This isn't just a remote story on the news - this is a tragedy involving people I know.

Haiku for a March evening.

2006-03-27T18:49:00.000-08:00

Sneezing, achy, yuck.
Spring in Tennessee can suck.
Shrek-a-thon. Better.

Three Degrees of Separation

2006-03-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

This story is beyond heartbreaking. Any domestic violence is awful, but this one hits awfully close to home.

First, there is the geographical aspect - Selmer is only a couple hundred miles from where I live. Second, there is the Church of Christ connection (I'm a lifelong C of C attendee), compounded by the fact that the couple met at Freed-Hardeman, where my father went to college. True, they weren't there at the same time, but Matthew Winkler's father probably was there with mine. Third, my roommate has a good friend who knew Matthew while he led the youth group at the Central C of C in McMinnville. This woman was a missionary in Scotland for a time (which is how she met Michelle), and the Winklers helped her raise her funds - she was supported by Bellevue C of C while he was the youth minister there.

There are no details coming out yet, really, but one thing is clear: you just never know what goes on in any family. Clearly there was something seriously wrong with some dynamic between this husband and wife; we just don't know what. It's scary, though, especially to someone who is unmarried, like me.

I think it is critical that we (as Christians, as humans) lift this family, and especially those little girls, up in prayer. Can you imagine what a huge inner struggle they are facing? Very few of us will be able to help them directly, but every one of us can take a few minutes to do some spiritual battle on their behalf. Pray that God will protect their innocent hearts, and that He will surround them with people who will guide, comfort, and nurture them in healthy and healing ways.

Wow, there's really not anything else to say.

Beauty

2006-03-14T19:35:00.001-08:00

On the recommendation of my roommate and Kasey, I bought and am reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. John wrote a well-known book called Wild at Heart, about the nature of men. This is a complementary book, about the nature of women. Both books put our gender roles in a faith context that, to me, is fresh and new, and not constricting and repressive like most of the books that tell women how to be better Christians. (Or tell Christians how to be better women.)

Now that the book review is done, on to the important stuff.

A lot has changed in my life lately, and very quickly. In fact, it's far from over. There is a huge, life-changing possibility in my near future. I don't want to talk about that now, although it is relevant. I don't mean to be cryptic (I'm just superstitious), but until I'm pretty sure it's going to happen, or that it's not going to happen, I don't want to mention it.

I'm too used to disappointment, and I don't want to have to tell you all that it didn't work out when I thought it would. I've had to do that too often in life.

Throw all of these continent-shifting changes together, add in a couple of recent emotional encounters and some deep-seated resentments resurfacing, and you get what I am on this Tuesday: a worn-out, happy-but-not-satisfied, little bit wiser girl.

I have always struggled, and will always probably struggle, with my self-esteem. I know that I am smart, kind, funny, and pretty. But there is a part of my voice that tells myself that I'm just not quite smart, kind, funny, or pretty enough. Enough for what? Who knows. But this is the fear I live in.

Growing up, my parents always encouraged me in my academics, athletics, and music (I took piano at a young age and for a long time). But somewhere in there, it always came back to comparisons. I don't fault my parents, or think they did a bad job. On the contrary, I love them dearly, am very close to them, and feel incredibly lucky to be from my family. But I was always coming in second, and they wanted me to win. For my own sake, I know, but it was hard. Why didn't I do the extra credit so I could be top in the class? (I was third overall in my graduating class, most likely to succeed, and had full scholarships to both college and law school.) Why didn't I work that much harder on my piano or basketball, so that I could be the star? (I was always second-string on the team, and my musical skills were never quite as good as the out-and-out prodigies I studied beside for a time.) If I was careful, and watched my weight as I grew, I would be as beautiful as any supermodel (I heard, "Don't get fat, or you'll never be as attractive and desirable as this girl.")

Part of my demons come from my family, but many of them come from simple life experience. I was well into college before a guy I wasn’t related to ever told me I was beautiful. I didn't believe him, and eventually broke up with him. My best friend is unbelievably gorgeous. I love her, and am so proud of her, but it can be hard to go out with her. I don't get asked out, don't get "the vibe" from many guys (and usually only from the weird ones), and don't get watched when I walk across the room.

I still struggle with a feeling of almost-ness, constantly watching my back in fear of some past mistake or weakness coming up from behind to steal what little glory I've earned and give it to someone more deserving, more beautiful, more pulled-together.

I know that this is a myth, an image that we flawed humans have concocted to give our lives reason - something to strive for. But it doesn't mean that this concept doesn't have power over us.

Here's the point: in the book, the Eldredges point to the time in the Garden, when man and woman were perfect and complemented each other. They make the argument that the very nature of the fall - Eve's pushiness and striving to make herself "better", Adam's fear of denying her or of taking the blame later - explain much of the pain each sex feels today. It has certainly resonated with me. In reading it, I've put a lot of my experiences together to see that, while I know I am all the things I listed before, I still feel I am not those things to the degree I should be.

The other thing that has started me to heal is the recognition that the desire to be found beautiful is an innate one that every woman shares, and that it is not something to be feared, thought weakness, or repress. It doesn’t mean that a woman is only truly completed by a man, but it does mean that our desire to be wanted is an honest and true feeling, and not just one forced onto us by our culture. To me, an affirmed feminist, this has actually been quite liberating. I don’t have to fear my femininity; it does not condemn me to traditional or stereotypical roles. Embracing it frees me to be a woman in my core – not just by my actions.

All of this is not to ask you to validate those things to me. You can't do it; it's too big and ingrained. I have to work through this myself, and with God's help and Jesus' healing, I will. I'm learning to look those nasty memories full in the face, see them for what they are, and leave them behind.

What you can do: tell the people in your life what you think of them - not in vague, emotional terms, but in concrete language. Tell your best friend that you love her because she is beautiful, but also because she is insightful, shares your same quirky taste in music and movies, and because she makes the best homemade t-shirts in the world. Tell your mom you love her because she encouraged you to be an intelligent and independent woman, and not to listen to the conservative environment that would discourage you from pursuing your career goals. Tell your dad you love him because he treated you like a friend, played games with you and talked to you about books and movies you both enjoy.

I feel a little guilty and nervous putting such a self-indulgent post up, but that is exactly why I am doing it, as an exercise in self-validation: I am a good writer, and my words and thoughts deserve to be read and enjoyed. If you don't enjoy them, just keep that to yourself, and let me have my moment.

The things I know about myself:
1. I am loved
2. I am very intelligent
3. I am a capable and effective leader
4. I am creative ( this is a relatively recent realization)
5. I can make my good friends laugh so hard they cry
6. I am a good friend myself
7. I am great with kids, and kids love me
8. I can cook with the best of them, given the opportunity
9. I am a terrible housekeeper, though
10. I have an insatiable thirst for story: books, movies, music, conversations, all of it
11. I have been blessed with amazing friends and family
12. I have the coolest eyes - dark blue with some green, and little gold flames around the pupils from time to time
13. I love God in a way I can't put into words
14. I have good fashion sense, now (although I can't often dress the way I want to, due to weight and money issues)
15. No matter what I thought back then, I know now that in high school I was pretty, talented, well-liked, and a whole lot more successful at life than I knew
16. No matter what I thought back then, I know now that in college I was looked up to, noticed, pined over, and fallen in love with
17. No matter what I thought back then, I know now that in law school I was as capable, funny, and attractive as any other girl there
18. No matter what I thought then, in the years between law school and now, even when I couldn't support myself, couldn't find a job, and just generally couldn't make life work the way I wanted it to, I was still everything I had always dreamed I would be at that point
19. No matter what I think now, I will look back in five years, in ten years, in fifty years, and see something I can't see now, and will be grateful for this time
20. I do not have these blessings and talents, these friends and memories and treasured moments, because I have earned them or deserve them. I am blessed simply because I am, and because the One who created me wanted me to live, and to have life to the full abundance.

Need a laugh?

2006-03-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

The best story I've seen in ages.